Pittsburg Mrs. 💨💨

I bet Dick Wolf could write a 2 part crossover event that would solve all this.

Camera pans over crime scene photos…
The murder occurred here next to the bookcase. The large amount of blood suggests that…

Oh! They have “The Village” on DVD! Like that one.

Life is strange. Is art predictive of life or merely born from life itself. And I realize in asking that question a Pandora’s box opens debating when conceptions enter and perceptions become relative to what we know or see but ultimately I feel very strongly that we are…. SHIT! Hot Pocket is done!!!

I literally seal bark laughed 😂

a man in a suit and tie is sitting in front of a window with blinds ALT: a man in a suit and tie is sitting in front of a window with blinds

On the phone I’m so happy and bubbly…because

If you are a horseman, you have a green light.

ThANk yOU fOr YoUR ATTENTION tO ThIS MaTteR

Stupid high with a bag of chips. Livin the fuckin dream Kenny.

Truth…

Can it just snow already so the 9th circle of hell closes and the damn sauna humid fkn heat, insects, and republicans go back to the hell they rose from!

If we can make arrangements I’ll keep the heat and insects… call me ☎️

Yes I am buying most of my year round home decor at Spirit. Yes that is a box of severed limbs for the faux fireplace…oh and a Snickers. Mind your business Barbara.

Sometimes good people do bad things for good reasons…also who the hell ate my last baby bell cheese?

I feel like turning 50 is a lot like starting high school. We’re the freshman seniors. Have to figure out who the cool people are, sit next to them at Denny’s, everyone wants a guy with wheels (motorized scooter.) Gotta find a cool pocketbook, it’s not s purse anymore. Idk man I’m excited!

Laughter and music are life and breath….also never underestimate the power of a regular shit schedule.

I try…to be a peaceful person* but so help me if Walmart raises the price of my coffee AGAIN…I’m gonna fuckin levitate.

*Jack Nicholson smile.

Looks like those tariffs are kickin in at Walmart 👀

Free roaming Walmart, Floyd tee, hair up, bun high enough to tickle Jesus’s ass, fuck you flap Jacks unholstered, look I’m goin through somethin…mind your business Beth.

Yes. I’ll be your ADT trusted neighbor. Just know I will also raid your snacks. No free rides Beth momma likes Swiss rolls.

I’ve been known to throw down a little Jack fist to cuffs in my younger days. Now I’m just a stoned ole woman that will cut you with a sharp tongue. Mind your business Grace.

Work shit…
Good evening Physicians ER line…
Yes I have a consult for the GI Group.
Ok is it going to be routine?
Yes
And what’s the reason for the consult?
Blood per rectum…

💀Well that is unfortunate .

Look just don’t be an asshole. And don’t kick pigeons!

I will befriend you solely based on the fact I want to pet your dog.

Hang on to your hats kids. Mother Nature appears to be really shakin up the place.

If it hurts when you go like THAT then don’t go like that!

Dear Diary,
Woke up screaming again today.

Tan everywhere…Jan…was a bitch who never deserved him.

xoxo

Don’t think I will ever recover watching a Clydesdale get a raging hard on while I was petting his nose. Like there was no Dutch Rudder action or anything…that’s illegal, here.. and I was 6. But anyway yeah. Trauma.

My brain is just HYPER stimulated right now. I have the mental zoomies.

When Tampa Jay said…
It’s August 1st, haunt season is pretty much here…
Got giddy like a kid!!!

It’s 68* and I’m watching a tour of a Spirit Halloween flagship store…fuck yeah. I’m officially in season.

Can you imagine being around an actual fuckin dinosaur …like someone hits rewind and bam there’s a 50ft lizard with a hard on running at your face.

For anyone interested,
The block is hot right now.