Sean Thomason

Trump on Fox News wearing an odd red sweater with black blazer combo

Texting Mamdani: “Hey Z, am I getting this fit off? I am, right? Yeah, I know I am. But am I?”

A tv screen. Zohran Mamdani stands above Trump, looking down on him in the Oval Office

Mamdani looking down on Trump like you’d watch a dog try to open a locked door with their paws

this is how i found out she resigned thanks

So long and farewell to you, Rep. Marjorie The Gathering.

Trump texting Mamdani late tonight: “Sup king? You see everybody freaking out about us today, lol, so funny right? Anyway I’m just chilling, watching my shows. You? It’s okay if you’re already in bed, you can answer tomorrow. Sleep tight, Mr. Mayor!”

big bugs bunny getting elmer fudd to marry him vibes in the white house currently i see

Trump texting Mamdani late tonight: “Sup king? You see everybody freaking out about us today, lol, so funny right? Anyway I’m just chilling, watching my shows. You? It’s okay if you’re already in bed, you can answer tomorrow. Sleep tight, Mr. Mayor!”

Oh yeah well I just passed a resolution condemning The House, whaddaya say about that

Background third-tier Harkonnen from David Lynch's Dune.

“virginia is for lovers,” whispers a voice from the floor vent

"Time to throw another poignant insight on the barbie"

Coyote trots by on the sidewalk in front of the house and I say "Look at him, like he owns the place." Then, a moment later, sagaciously, with all the wisdom of history behind me, "...and in a way, he does."

These rule, by the way

Bag of chips, Trader Joe’s ridge cut seasoned with horseradish and chives

Ah, the thinking man’s Sour Cream & Onion.

Is it just me or is there a wave of chain restaurant commercials acting like chicken tenders are a brand new idea.

I wish I had his skills! And my dog is also named Cowboy so this hits extra

*modem screeching intensifies*

Unfortunately it occurs to me I've accidentally described what probably happens when RFK Jr. busts

I think “Quiet, Piggy” would be a fun thing to say to him and in fact maybe the only thing anyone should say to him from now on.

When someone tries to tell me who Olivia Nuzzi is my eyes roll back and my mouth emits a 56k baud dial-up modem signal continuously until they go away.

I’ve heard of Bubba Gump, but Bubba blown by Trump??

One of my least favorite coffee shop experiences is turning around to discover I've been in the background of someone else's zoom meeting.

Power's out in the neighborhood, checked for updates on a local group and the first comment was "power out in winter, how typical of the demonrats!" 🤔

I invented a new film subgenre

So much fun talking about one of my favorites. As the increasingly shitfaced Thanksgiving parade narrator would say, “yay yay!”

It’s raining heavily outside while I’m running the washing machine AND the dishwasher… feels sick. Diseased. Like I’m Baron Harkonnen slathering myself in spice.

Wings Hauser put on a true masterclass of drunk acting here

At long last, it's time to do the Shimmy Slide.

I’ve seen enough. It is time to arrest Jeffrey Epstein.

Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein is cool but I think what the movie needed was a goofy lil guy. Something classy, like a smartmouth goblin who lives behind his ear. The goblin is also a DJ.