Sean Thomason

I heard if you die in bluesky you die in real life.

More things should take a note from Cheez-Its and have a serving size of 27.

Finally saw Train to Busan and I’m kinda mad I haven’t been watching it once a year for the last nine years.

We go together like the Wendigo and the cold piercing shriek of an October wind? Don, thank you sincerely for remembering me as the original king of Wendigo comedy. It has made me extremely wealthy.

My dog on the couch curled up next to a copy of Neal Stephenson’s Cryptonomicon

Oh great now my dog won’t shut up about how the flow of information shapes everything and also for some reason the history of alchemy 😑

I guess I'd describe this general moment as the richest people in the world are having a fantastic time but still pissed the rest of us aren't celebrating them enough.

*not sure what we're mad about but I like to fit in* Yeah, yeah, fuck... Bluesky! Yeah! Fuck this place, apparently!

Ain't nothing AI can do to fix whatever's going on with him

good lord!!!

Uh if this guy wants to see "a virgin on screen" he should just put his phone in selfie mode

That is a WILD leap! They talked to my parents about moving me forward a grade but they thought it'd be bad for me socially, instead I wound up in a 3rd grade class with a bunch of rough boys who'd been held back and lemme tell ya, that wasn't so great either

I'm being unfair: when they noticed I was ahead of the other kids they gave me my own books to work on by myself at a table in the back of the class, which really helped me be normal and popular.

Your school had a gifted and talented program? That's cool. Several teachers at my school sincerely thought my name was pronounced Seen.

Went to showings of Dazed & Confused and One Battle After Another over the weekend. Both classics. Both have a lot of drinking beers while driving.

Now that you mention it, why do we even have human beings at all. What a waste of resources we are! We should all just lay very still on the ground until we’re dead.

Incredible! (or however you say that in Esperanto)

I'm no great fan of the military but I would like to watch a TV show where every American who's ever served can line up to punch Pete in the stomach.

He's stupid, deranged, and will believe anything that suits his hateful racist biases - great combo

Pete Hegseth addressing the military is just "letting the gym coach teach history" writ large.

why isn’t this the party line across the board

This is a real slap in the face to Cotton Hill's old war buddy Fatty.

Gosh I'm glad they're finally sending troops to the war-torn inner city, where I go to get fresh fish tacos from a welcoming family business before a pleasant walk to a mellow alt-country show.

There was no lobster tank at our Walmart, but if there had been, my buddy would’ve definitely peed in it.

My 2002 Walmart nostalgia video would be me and my friends in Appalachia getting fucked up and wandering around the store because there was nowhere else to go at 11pm, and running out after my buddy peed on a stack of American flag towels.

A bottle of Gulden’s spicy brown mustard on my kitchen counter

How about a moment of appreciation for a true king. An unsung hero.

Feel like I need to let the record show I already owned the One Battle After Another robe and wear it all the time.

Listen man I don’t wanna learn what a fucking “medbed” is.

In 2025 we are celebrating partial successes. Saw the dog was about to throw up and I had just enough time to move him over the hard floor instead of the rug.

I’m so sorry.

Z’Dar commits so hard (as always). It really is a special one 🙏