Your Comic Muse

This Portland police officer stood up for his community against ICE agents trying to drive into a crowd of protesters.

“You WILL be arrested.”

Ma’am you actually just say dumb things and people yell at you

CHICAGO. Sunday, Oct 12th, Jennifer Holliday and I are gonna take y'all to church and whatnot at the City Winery. We need to be together and laugh together and saaang together. Two showtimes to choose from. Tickets up in here --->
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It has begun. No flesh shall be spared. Also, I’m in Milwaukee, Hammond and Flint this week! Go to pattonoswalt.com for tix!

FINAL 2025 TOUR STOPS

WED 10/15 CHARLESTON
bit.ly/vtopeschs25

FRI 10/17 OVERLAND PARK KS
bit.ly/vtopesopks25

SAT 10/18 ST. LOUIS MO
bit.ly/vtopsstl2025

SUN 10/19 LOUISVILLE KY
bit.ly/vtopeslky25

#Catatouille, the new Pixar sequel to #Ratatouille. This one helps you to get your Bachelor’s degree.

cc: @pattonoswalt.bsky.social

Greta Thunberg: "I could talk for a very, very long time about our mistreatment and abuses in our imprisonment. Trust me. But that is not the story. What happened here was Israel… continuing to worsen and escalate their genocide and mass destruction with genocidal intent, attempting to erase an...

Awwww. She wants to go with you. This is extremely high cat flattery. Off the charts.

Mayor Brandon Johnson signs executive order establishing ‘ICE-free zones’ • The TRiiBE Johnson is calling for a full investigation into “all of the brutality” that federal agents have conducted this past week.

HAPPENING NOW — This morning, Mayor Brandon Johnson signed an executive order establishing “ICE-free zones.”

“That means that city property and unwilling private businesses will no longer serve as grounds for these raids,” Johnson said to applause.

thetriibe.com/2025/10/mayo...

Chicago Journalists, Protesters Suing Trump Administration Over Alleged First Amendment Violations at Broadview ICE Facility The Chicago Headline Club, Chicago Newspaper Guild Local 34071, Block Club Chicago and other media groups filed the suit alongside protesters in federal court alleging their First Amendment rights hav...

Chicago-area journalists and protesters are suing the Trump administration, claiming ICE agents have engaged in a “pattern of extreme brutality” they say is a “concerted and ongoing effort to silence the press and civilians” outside the agency’s Broadview processing facility.

Robin Williams' daughter has some quality thoughts on AI slop

The funniest thing about this is how legit terrified ICE looks.

She’s still out here ✌️

longtime journalists listening to the bari weis first day address

If you'd like to delight in a side-by-side comparison, here's Bari Weiss' reported note to CBS staffers (left) and the one I cooked up on ChatGPT with a quickly dashed-off prompt (right). Looking forward to hearing from you in the days and weeks ahead!

If I learned one thing working at quickly ascending start-ups it’s that everyone in a leadership position thinks the users love and are rooting for the company as though they also work there

So when users express dissatisfaction the leadership reacts as though this is DEEPLY ungrateful betrayal

If you lived in Illinois at the time, you might remember Uber emailing its customer base telling them to CALL THE GOVERNOR and say that the beloved Uber company was being treated unfairly.

I’d say it’s peak Silicon Valley brain but there’s no level lower than peak.

Step 1. Back into business model accidentally or steal one (cabs, food delivery, etc.)

Step 2. Venture capital

Step 3. Billionaire

Step 4. Write mission statement retroactively about how all of this was a plan to make the world a better place

Step 5. Make world worse place

headline: Elon Musk with a straight face: Tesla Robotaxi will cover half of US population by end of the year by Fred Lambert | Jul 23 2025 - 3:09 pm PT

wonder how this is going

sort of feels like these brave men and women would be stoked to shoot me in the face or stomach with a gun

does it still have the IDF guy playing the frenchman

Keep thinking about Jesse Watters interviewing his producer as Shredder, Zorro, Jigsaw, the Dread Pirate Roberts, Hannibal Lecter, Rey Mysterio and the rabbit from Donnie Darko, them getting their own Fox panel show, Lecter coming down hard on bombing fishing boats as "tacky," being hugely outvoted.

This is excellent.

Also if you have any pitches please send them my way. We want to cover stories that the CBS Newses of the world are too afraid of.

I guess I'd describe this general moment as the richest people in the world are having a fantastic time but still pissed the rest of us aren't celebrating them enough.

You know that feeling when you try to swim in the ocean, then a big wave pushes you back, you're spitting up water as the next one floors you and now there's sand in your trunks, you don't know which way you're facing anymore and your nose is full of brine? Anyway I'm just catching up on the news.

Embracing the just chillin in Cedar Rapids lifestyle

are you wasting your life or are you chillin in cedar rapids

Congratulations to the vibrant reds, yellows, and oranges of autumn foliage. You have been awarded The Pimp of the Week