Blather Wince Repeat

Don’t blame me I voted for Dionne Warwick and Burt Bacharach

Typical life cycle of an avocado:

HARD
HARD
HARD
HARD
HARD
HARD
HARD
ˢᵒᶠᵗ
RUINED

Yes, RFK Jr., with no medical or science degree and a face that looks like an old catcher's mitt stitched together out of beef jerky, make America healthy again with your secret knowledge gained through years of exhaustive Google searches.

i hope someday i win the fifa peace prize. maybe even the pizza hut medal of honor. or hell, why not, a costco oscar

Pulling a report that will confirm if you are a little bitch or not.

Dating younger men because I’m going through cougarty right now

Not sure how I feel about holiday beverages – I’m eggnostic HAHA I wanted to get this joke out one more time before we're all sent to work in the asbestos mines

excited to award my kids the Burger King Peace Prize this weekend

A story in which a megalomaniacal authority figure casts his ‘mistakes’ aside, forcing them to live stigmatized and apart? Replace Santa with a mad scientist and rename the holiday mainstay “The Island of Dr. Moreau’s Misfit Toys.“

You felt your favorite heartache this many times, and as a report generated by those heartache times, we will not be reminding you with the feelings you had. Here's you superimposed on a pin dropping

My attempt to be rebellious was ruined. I used that thing that had a do not use sign on it, but nothing happened.

I better sit down
This selfie takes six minutes
Pinhole camera

looking back, i didn’t find Waldo. Waldo found me

Cozy and exposed, the bold comfort. Not even adventure is ready to deal with that. Tried leaving the top few buttons undone on my spacesuit, tradition floated out and away, modestial voices guided it back

We are dropping like flies over here at the bug spray factory I don't know why

Anjelica Huston in a public phone booth, wearing a skimpy black and silver outfit. For reasons unknown, there's a guy riding a bike to the left of the booth. (Pic: Annie Leibovitz for Elle, France, in 1991. Huston's outfit is by Thierry Mugler)

Gonna make a proper phone advent calendar

The vomit scene plus visible crew in all its 4k glory:

HBOMax has started showing a 'remastered' 4K Mad Men and they’ve messed things up so during Roger’s oyster vomit scene you can now see the crew men with the vomit hose on the right

You replied without liking, Charlie Brown

We should talk. Let me fire up the chipper

It's times like these (eating mashed potatoes in bed) that I'm glad things didn't work out. So I don't have to share my potatoes with a loser.

The Washington Post headline reads: "Try a ‘fart walk’ to ease the pressure after that big Thanksgiving meal Whatever you do, resist the urge to lie down. November 24, 2025" Accompanying the article if a black ad white photo of someone walking on what appears to be a cold fall day. The camera is capturing their back as they're walking in a park with leaves on the ground. They are wearing a black coat and black leggings. The Washington Post has added radiating yellow lines from their butt to suggest they're farting. The photo credit says the image is from iStock.

Imagine posing for a photographer friend who sells your image to iStock and a year later, you see this is what The Washington Post has done with the image of you walking on a beautiful fall day

I'll tell you what, dog saliva is not great for cleaning glasses.

It bears mentioning that some who wander are lost AF.

I believe in God, but he’s not an old man who lives in the clouds. She’s a curvy lady who wears a halter top.

*walks into the liquor store*

what kind of black friday deals yall got going on?

Sorry, not sorry. Okay, maybe a little sorry.
~ idiom, rough draft

If we made a mistake when I was young, we couldn't just go to the drugstore and buy Plan B. Plan B for us was fatherhood.

A movie marquee advertises for the films Nuremberg in Zootopia 2

really went dark for the sequel

Kids today are always on their phones instead of solving the ancient riddle of the pharaoh