Uncle Jeff 🌈

🎶🕺 this is how we do it 🎵

is we it
This how do

We live in a world where Onion satire and reality are converging at a maddening rate.

For gambling people, I will set the o/u at 4 for number of maga people seeing this headline and actually doing it

RFK Jr.: ‘Time In Hot Cars Helps Babies To Sweat Out Toxins’

RFK Jr.: ‘Time In Hot Cars Helps Babies To Sweat Out Toxins’ https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-time-in-hot-cars-helps-babies-to-sweat-out-toxins/

I miss when you could post Brave Norman Rockwell Townsperson and the caption could be, like, “R.E.M was wrong to leave ‘Fretless’ off of Out of Time” instead of “The secret police should stop murdering people.”

Figure skating would be so much better with unmarked areas of thin ice

acab includes parking lot arrows

celebrate President's Day by impeaching the president

who called it face sitting when moon landing was right there?

norman rockwell image of the guy standing up you know the image

"add 30 seconds" is the only button necessary on a microwave

In this time of NIL funding, he really cannot afford to not purchase it for him

Star fleet officers Spock and Kirk as portrayed by pornographic actors. Kirk is bent over the captains station with Spock behind him

Text "Every time someone complains about gay star trek characters, Spock and Kirk bone again" attached image is Spock and Captain Kirk from the Star Trek 25th anniversary game for NES. They are in a turbolift and Kirk is looking sideways at Spock

A brown tabby cat sits two feet away from a robotic vacuum cleaner which has docked in its charging station. The cat is staring intently at the machine

I came out this morning to find Arthur just staring at the robot vacuum in its charging station

MacGyver: *deep breath*

I'm a fan of this design esthetic

Terrible. When I do this, I sit on the rocking chairs outside Cracker Barrel

someone giving away lacroix's secret recipes again

Get hydrated tuki, then get outta there

*flirting back*

fewer

A photo of a cat under a bed with a rotisserie chicken with the caption: This is Beans. Beans stole a while rotisserie chicken off the counter. Not a piece. The whole chicken. Beans dragged it under the bed and growled at us for forty minutes. Beans is 9 pounds.

Become ungovernable

ME: *watching an "influencer"*

I have never felt less influenced

ok get all your love out today, tomorrow we’re back to hating

Thread illustrating why people who were alive in the 50s should not be governing our country. Happy valentine's day

"zoomers are killing the bar industry" oh interesting was it zoomers who decided a drink should cost seventeen dollars

"I think camp counselors should save drowning children instead of having sex"

me, 8: i'm gonna be somebody someday

me, 38: i'm gonna take the world's best nap

GAGA: the category is dance ... or die

ME: I'll take die for 1000