Louise 🌻

I have an occupational health assessment this afternoon and have a BIG FEAR that I’ll immediately forget how autism works and how to articulate my experiences 🥲

Rounding off the day with unrelated emotional flashback garbage because trauma’s a bitch and I struggle to ask for bare minimum basic accommodations to support me through it because I feel like a trash person for having needs innit

Absolute mixed bag of a day. Visited my parents and my dad was on his “anti-woke” bullshit, but my mum revealed she’s known about/been chill with non-binary folks for A While and was extremely hype to learn how to use gender neutral pronouns?? It was incredibly sweet 10/10 parent interaction

The energy I bring to social events: Ai is 💀 the planet and chat gpt is making you stupid

People love it

Also I’m reasonably sure all of the issues I’ve ever had with styling my short hair have been resolved by finding product that doesn’t inflict sensory hell on me. Why didn’t anyone tell me powders exist???

Like, yes, long hair is nice and versatile, but it just ain’t worth it. My head is FREE. 😌

(I know this isn’t actually anything, but still I do need to remember exactly how much of an impact my hair has on my general comfort and self-esteem. Long hair is like a constant sensory debuff and I forget it’s in play until it’s GONE.)

Like. I slept better than I have in WEEKS knowing I was getting my head shaved. I am an entirely new person.

I’ve been feeling so bizarrely overwhelmed and anxious lately, and while it is almost definitely related to switching to a different method of hormonal birth control, I scheduled myself for a haircut this morning and it has fixed EVERYTHING.

Okay no but seriously this is what my camera roll looks like right now.

Being extremely normal about ladybirds today. I’ve never seen them mid transformation before and I’m finding it very exciting! 🤩 (Not least because my garden is covered in aphids. 🥲)

I still feel sick from it 🥲

Seeing mentions of Pretzel out in the wild in the last couple of years when I abandoned his tumblr well over a decade ago actually blows my mind. My little noodle 😭

I survived *literal cancer* and can’t handle a little dried blood. Brains are so stupid. 🥲

I had my IUD removed and an implant inserted the other day, and when I removed the dressing just now and saw the bruising and the tiny hole I had a fucking meltdown.

I am so stoic when undergoing medical procedures, but when it comes to dealing with any kind of wound in the aftermath — no matter how small — I will become hysterical and sob like a literal baby.

Buhhhh thank you 😭😭😭 and also thank you for sharing your email expertise 😭😭😭😭😭

All that said, I am feeling very powerful, because I wrote a couple of really good emails (while crying all over my keyboard with stress lol) and was ready to make a formal complaint if they didn’t back down, and I have shown myself that I’m not helpless. 💪💪💪

Like, I work in customer service and I know how awful customers can be, and I was so, so polite about the whole thing, but even so. Urrghhhhh.

ANYWAY, I quoted the Consumer Rights Act at them, felt really fucking terrible about it, but they did void the second invoice.

(I’d already paid their first invoice despite the problem going unresolved, but the second was for a 5 minute return visit where the guy looked at the part that had already been replaced, said it was stuck, and then told me I might just need an entirely new cistern. At additional cost, obvs.)

Usually I will just eat the cost and chalk it up to experience, but I am so tired of being a complete pushover and this was so totally and unambiguously outrageous that I thought I’d fight it, but dear lord it did not sit well with my people-pleasing tendencies.

I really, deeply don’t like being a difficult customer, but I recently had such a bad experience with a plumber that I felt it necessary to query an invoice, and I’ve been on the verge of a panic attack for a literal week with feeling like I’m being unnecessarily awkward and awful.

Anyway, Outer Wilds is one of my new favourite games and I adore it.

It took me two attempts and I am being absolutely insufferable about it. 😌

I have now played the game for myself and will probably finish the main story tomorrow. 🤞In the meantime, I decided to give the sun station another go, and… 😏

I forgot to post any opinions along the way, but I just finished Veilguard!!! I’m finally caught up on Dragon Age after all these years. 🥲

It’s rough when your brain wants so desperately to undermine your sense of safety. Constantly.

And Guinness cake 😛

Thank you for your many help I couldn’t do it without you 😭😭😭