here’s why you keep waking up to pee in the middle of the night

is it bc you have to pee, it’s bc you have to pee isn’t it

I prefer non-ethical monogamy. Just me and my beloved against the world, committing unspeakable crimes.

Got a taste of retired life and now I don't know if I can go back...

Elon Musk is a terrible president.

We went from being a beacon of hope and light in the world to...this. It's so sad.

I actually prefer to be under anesthesia for most minor procedures like conference calls and grocery shopping and folding laundry

coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. i need to be struck by lightning. twice.

New York City subway photo of sign for Canal Street Station taken at the perfect angle to cut off the C in Canal so it just reads ANAL.

I will never ride through this station intoxicated and not jump on the opportunity to take some version of this photo every single time...

Thank you, Canada!

Long time Dem here...we don't care. Stop this madness already!!!

BOSS: we need a name for this sandwich restaurant

MARKETING: jimmy restrooms

BOSS: what no

MARKETING: jimmy lavatories

BOSS: absolutely not

MARKETING: jimmy toilets

BOSS: come on now

MARKETING: jimmy johns

BOSS: oh i love it

I feel like not being stressed right now is a huge red flag

Hahaha like...I'm tired enough trying to take care of myself. I can't also worry about people who aren't worried for themselves.

Good. Let them have it. I don't care anymore...

🤑🏫😡

This was one of my first successful milky way attempts ever. I climbed chick hill in the middle of the night at like 3am it was pitch black out and every noise made it an eerie hike. Worth it tho!

5/8/2019 - Chick Hill, Clifton Maine

#photography #astrophotography #bluesky #nature #discover

Emotionally stunted family member after complaining at me for 30 minutes: "WhY Are YoU haViNg PaNIc aTTacKs???"
Me: *SILENT SCREAM*

Built like a sack of horse manure.

Except for the corporations buying up single family homes to rent out...

A joy to visualise this good climate news ☀️

Solar is growing in every EU country and, for the first time in 2024, generates more electricity than coal.

Plenty more powerful and positive insights in
@ember-energy.org's European Electricity Review 2025 out today ➡️➡️➡️ ember-energy.org/latest-insig...

I was daydreaming about how hard life was for the ancient world, especially because they didn't have Q-tips post-shower. And then I found out Q-tips were originally called "Baby Gays". Not sure what to do with this information other than post it here...

Fun fact: if you're buying from a creator on etsy, you can reduce their etsy selling fees from 6.5% to 2.5% by ordering via 'shopname.etsy.com' instead of 'etsy.com/shopname' or searching from the main site. It costs you the same but the creator makes more

if you’re hungry i wouldn’t suggest clicking on this [thread] featuring dolly parton.

Please don’t even talk to me in the morning until I’ve had my coffee, 27 hours of alone time, several months by the seaside to ease my agonies, and many decades to wander the earth until the fabled blade of my ancestors can finally be reforged

Watching the sun melt snow slowly off this roof, just for it to refreeze on the way down. Winter is perfect. 💙

Took some tweeking to get it just right 🤣

4 beers, a joint, and a random PTO day seems to be the magic recipe for the best night of sleep ever...

2°F (-16°C) this morning. God I love being up north. 💙