reppocs

If your last name's Epstein, I'm bringing it up.

a man is walking down the street with the words you 're a fake and a fraud written below him ALT: a man is walking down the street with the words you 're a fake and a fraud written below him

Sephora?

I ruined my daughter's joke.

Daughter: "Knock knock."
Me: "Who's there?"
Daughter: "The police."
Me: "Do you have a warrant?"

Would love to see The Great Gatsby, but set in Staten Island. Cc: @nbcsnl.bsky.social

The recipe for Marry Me Chicken proves the existence of Fuck Me Chicken and Kill Me Chicken.

mid

In an HR meeting, because a coworker showed me a picture of her baby and I said she was mid.

Why the question marks? You're the one telling us, dude.

Ramen with hot dogs in it. I miss my wife.

I swore to myself I'd never lie to my children, but then they asked me if I'm happy.

Been going for years. It's kind of worked.

At a birthday party and the kid’s getting a lot of Lego, which gives me the opportunity to tell everyone that the plural of Lego is Lego, because I don’t enjoy people liking me.

a man is hanging from a rope in the desert while wearing a hat . ALT: a man is hanging from a rope in the desert while wearing a hat .

AI IS THE FUTURE!

a woman in a red dress is holding a microphone in her hand and raising her fist in the air . ALT: a woman in a red dress is holding a microphone in her hand and raising her fist in the air .

YOU GET A LUIGI! AND YOU GET A LUIGI!

Dad rap. Instead of cars and jewelry, you just brag about how your son's doing in travel baseball.

Corey Reppond Things made by Corey Reppond.

I got roped in to filming and editing a video for my kid's school PTA. It reminded me of the dumb videos I used to make. www.youtube.com/coreymadeit

I've intended every pun I've ever made.

If I see one more person use the term “unalive”, I’m going to kill myself.

87% of people in NYC are recording a vlog. The other 13% are pushing that 87% on to the subway tracks.

#ASAB

My bad. I took the surface streets to the Comedy Zone.

Follow your bliss.

I think the best part about having done standup for a long time is seeing some of your friends fail and then turn in to right wing lunatics.

To be honest, all I really want is just bran.

a man wearing a blue rosetta stone polo shirt ALT: a man wearing a blue rosetta stone polo shirt

“Where’s dad?”

“Dad had to go to Thailand for… a thing…”

“20 is great, but 16 is better.”

I don’t know how your conversations with your boss go, but today, I told my boss, “I don’t get Disney Adults. I mean, at least with furries, there’s a sexual component.”

I gotchoo, LB!

No, but I support your new ways.

Too spicy.