Complete Travisty

Why, that’s K’ranch. Great guy. Loves a good hunt

Hmmm

"World's first potential trillionaire has killed 600,000 people, including 400,000 children" is the only headline that anyone should ever read about Elon Musk

Army closes only dining facility on Kansas base due to government shutdown The only dining facility for junior troops at the Army’s Fort Leavenworth in Kansas has been closed due to funding issues.

Are we sure it’s not because they haven’t been fed?

Reminder that in the Horizon game series the world’s first trillionaire personally caused the extinction of all life on Earth through sheer tech bro incompetence

To paraphrase Alice Roosevelt, he’s gotta be the bride at every wedding, and the victim of every fainting spell

a cartoon character is asking someone if they want a body massage . Alt: Roadblock from an edited GI Joe PSA saying "Who wants a body massage?!"

saw foe massage at first

incredible photo that's definitely worth at least 1,000 words from Andrew Harnik of Getty

Glad we haven’t told the kids we’re going to Legoland and the beach for Thanksgiving yet

we’re starving kids AND canceling Thanksgiving because we really, really need to double the cost of your healthcare, and other winning messages

Fievel immigrated the “right” way! (i.e. he didn’t die on the ship)

Wow I didn’t expect Trump to be familiar with the Zoroastrian priest Mazdak

"we're taking food away from people, our party just got it ass handed to it in elections all over the country, so to stop the bleeding let's cancel a bunch of flights heading into the holidays"

Some counties in southern Virginia that barely went a teensy bit more toward the GOP

look at these losers

The Oval Office sign that screams “suburban banquet hall” with a photoshopped sign underneath that says “Welcome Illard Fillmore High class of 1960”

I think I had a company Christmas party there

They’re adding goat to the menus of the taco trucks on every corner. Which I am still waiting on, by the way

Yeah there were a lot of really stupid constitutional amendments on the ballot in TX and unfortunately all or most of them will probably pass. Most of them are codifying tax cuts in the constitution, or outright prohibiting certain taxes

well I for one am shocked that "every aspect of your life gets worse forever and also look at my marble bathroom" did not turn out to be a winning election strategy

Hell March just started blaring in my head

Protip: Don't adopt that slogan

Nobody will ever match the Simpsons’ perfect summation of America’s indefensible two-party system.

Holodumber

Zapp Brannigan from animated series Futurama saying “Also they told me you guys look like dorks”

11th hour smear campaign

Scourge of LaGuardia! Sorrow of Astoria!

Gul Dukat has just endorsed Andrew Cuomo