The Likes You as a Friend Witch

I can't tell if it's undigested food from weeks ago or an organ so we're going to the ER.

Approx 2 hours later (because the exotic vet is in surgery when I call and every other exotic vet for 2 states is off) we get in, the vet tech turns out to be the same one Oni bit last time & bonded with.

22.01.2025 16:20 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

Their tanks are like 10ft away from where my head is btw, so if you ever need help finding a body hmu, the nose knows.

Anyway, I flip on the lights and peer inside and she's excreted enough blood (not fresh) to soak half a paper towel but it's the weird pile of unidentifiable viscera that concerns.

22.01.2025 16:13 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

At about 2 am I'm laying in bed unable to sleep when I hear the distinct gurgle of a snake digestive tract moving (this itself is not weird, sometimes it's loud. Doug is, hilariously, the loudest) and then I distinctly smell blood. I just know it's coming from Oni's enclosure & I am right, again.

22.01.2025 16:10 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

I show the vet & he proceeds to casually express my snake's junk, expelling a thick jet of what I'm now 98% sure is pus about halfway across the exam table. He says it's just urates, I am HIGHLY dubious but also not a vet. Note to self, I'm so fucking smart, I really should listen to me more.

22.01.2025 16:03 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

BD. In fact. BD.

Fast forward to two days ago, Oniare is at our regular vet for mouth rot. This is my 2nd case in as many months (husbandry issues I have now addressed) so I know the drill, then I notice she's dripping something from her cloaca & it doesn't look like normal urates to me.

22.01.2025 15:58 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

I noticed a couple of bumps right above her vent to either side, couldn't suss what they could be & we went straight to the ER. Xrays were taken, the breaks were found, I was told it would heal on its own & the bumps were likely from how the ribs shifted & would likely remain. NBD.

22.01.2025 15:49 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

The vibe is chill, vet visits are usually minimal & I treat a lot of non-ER issues at home. This year has been more exciting w/ my gargoyle gecko who wouldn't quit laying duds, two cases of mouth rot & oh yeah my corn snake mysteriously broke some ribs in her tail several months ago. No idea how.

22.01.2025 15:43 — 👍 0    🔁 0    💬 1    📌 0

IT IS I, ZE BRILLIANT DETECTIVE 'ERCULE POIROT. IN EXACTLY NINE MINUTES I WILL HAVE DEDUCED THE IDENTITY OF THE BLACKMAILER AND THEIR ACCOMPLICE, SOLVED SIX ADDITIONAL MURDERS, MADE A PERFECT SOUFFLE AND FED MY MUSTACHE (who actually solves all the crimes for me, tell no one)

04.01.2025 09:30 — 👍 29    🔁 4    💬 1    📌 0

EVERYBODY GETS EGG

15.12.2024 00:21 — 👍 2    🔁 1    💬 0    📌 0

hats off to this smooth brained operator, tho, who needed a hospital enclosure right away & scored a brand new front open display model for $50 just by being so tiny & stupid looking he made the Petsmart employee tear up

10.12.2024 07:27 — 👍 5    🔁 1    💬 0    📌 0

admittedly Doug is smaller than a novelty pencil & has roughly the same temperament. I may have to experiment with a larger snake. conveniently I have a russian rat whose favorite place to be is inside of your shirt with you

10.12.2024 07:18 — 👍 4    🔁 1    💬 1    📌 0

spent most of today smuggling my hognose snake, Comfortable Doug, around in a bonding bag/scarf & no one noticed. I am giddy with the arcane knowledge that I can secret reptiles about my person any time I want which probably *won't* lead to my undoing

10.12.2024 06:48 — 👍 4    🔁 1    💬 1    📌 0

He is a zero! Zeros are my fav. I lucked out bigtime finding him up for adoption

10.10.2023 17:53 — 👍 1    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0