Anna

To the over enthusiastic clean freak at work

You have thrown out
My black beans
From the fridge
In the office

Those were leftovers
For my lunch
Today
You heinous bitch

Unforgivable
They were still good!
Studded with sweet potatoes
And chilis in adobo

My left forearm with a fresh tattoo of an opossum with open mouth

New silly little guy just dropped.

A series of cartons of “milked cashews.”

Language is funny. I can look at a regular container of almond milk and think “oh, ok, stuff made of pressed almonds,” but I see this and immediately need to know where the cashews’ little nipples are.

I stuck out so much walking around the outskirts of Atlanta that a lady drove up to give me a card from an org that works with trafficking victims 😂.

A long stemmed rose and a pink index card with a bible verse and the phone number for an anti trafficking organization.

Haha, the infrastructure is so fucked here that being a conspicuously white lady on foot made this passerby assume I’m a sex worker in need of outreach.

I’ve been saying that he reminds me of my former nursing home patients for months now!

Last semester, I turned in a paper for grad school that felt so incoherent that I was shocked to get an A. I thought of that paper today while listening to @ifbookspod.bsky.social, because compared to Thomas Chatterton Williams it was basically Shakespeare.

i’m not going to be lectured about political violence by people whose politics is violence

“I gave my life to Christ in the Cracker Barrel parking lot” sounds like the filthiest euphemism I have ever heard.

Things I actually said today: when you become a hospital manager RFK visits you in the night and gives you a brain worm to tell you that all that matters is “when is this patient discharging?”

screnshot of CNN interview with Rahm Emmanuel. You can scan a QR code "for Full interview with Rahm Emanuel"

They're calling it the least scanned QR code of all time

crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their consultants

Andrew Cuomo gets publicly humiliated. Bill Clinton learns his endorsement is worth less than dogshit. What a great time to be a hater. A golden age.

We need to build some real social stigma around being afraid of cities. You don't have to like them or live there, but a politics built this strongly around watching TV and going "ewww" is embarrassing, and people should be embarrassed by it. It's like "fear of werewolves" being your top issue.

It helps me to realize that at this point, Trump sounds as dementia-ridden as any nursing home patient I’ve ever cared for.
Is it terrifying for a dementia patient to have the nuclear codes? Yes.
Is a dementia patient capable of the kind of 3d chess/kayfabe attributed to Trump? Absolutely not.

an orange and white cat looks proud; presidential

cats don't obey in advance and no one else should, either

BREAKING:

The opinion of a random person you just encountered online is not, in fact, the universally embraced belief of "the Left" or "Liberals" or whoever else you'd like to paint with a broad brush.

More as this story develops.

Randy Newman and Judy Collins.

Tired millennial ground down by capitalism pride is just listening to Chappell Roan while cooking dinner.

Skibidi toilet is gen Alpha’s version of the Terry Gilliam animated bits in Monty Python and it’s kind of great, actually.

Epic needs to allow reaction gifs in chats. Imagine the beautiful chaos.

a close up of a stuffed monkey wearing a green shirt and blue overalls . ALT: a close up of a stuffed monkey wearing a green shirt and blue overalls .

TFW you’re a nurse and you find your co-worker’s posts about how Fauci should be prosecuted.

If you see this, I implore you to post a picture from whatever device you’re using with no explanation.

When I am queen of the world, the author of the fucking Secret will have her entire estate seized and used to pay the medical expenses of people who thought they could manifest cancer away.

What if Elon is the first autistic person RFK has ever actually met and that’s why he assumes we don’t pay taxes or go on dates

Yogurt lid that reads “celebrate cream.”

Whoa there yogurt!

The organization that oversees Philly’s budget is the Pennsylvania Intergovernmental Cooperation Authority, or PICA. If the organization has a severe budget shortfall, is it possibly because they eat through money? 🥁

I found one of your other snarky posts about the “murdered by hospice” group on a mutuals’ timeline and felt so seen, don’t mind if I slide in here. (Am RN case manager. Made my parents give me their advance directives after my first case with a family fighting over extubation).

When parodying patter songs like modern major general
It doesn't matter if your joke's original or ven'rable
But if you get the scansion wrong you make the baby Jesus cry
And all autistic pedants reading it will surely wish you would just die

Sure sex is great, but have you ever seen the loopholes you you pointed out while acting as a union rep lead to actual good policy?