Murray Bates

A toddler on way to a fancy dress party as a berry. Her costume is made from thirty or so balloons. We can just see her head, arms, and legs.

My little neice Olivia has the worst case of hemorrhoids the doctor says he's ever seen.

Ironically can’t help but feel the pound shop priest getting the sack for copying Musk in some way proves there is a God

Half expecting to wake up tomorrow and find Justin Baldoni has bought Wycombe Wanderers to really piss Ryan Reynolds off

It’s not a Hitler Salute unless you use your other hand to put your index finger over your top lip. Duh!

Radiohead fans. If you’ve ever wondered what they’d sound like playing all the right notes in the wrong order, maybe give their side project ‘the smile’ a go, you won’t be disappointed.

Elon Musk spotted in an early episode of Top Gear - shout when you see him!

You need to make yourself scarce Katie. Big Dog needs a Fanta and a cack.

“…and also, if it’s not too much trouble could you bring some of those exquisite hazelnut chocolates you spoilt us with at your Christmas reception. They were excellente!”

Would definitely prefer someone living

I understand mosty big companies would rather handle customer support issues Online, but Everyman Cinemas playing Ocean Drive by The Lighthouse Family on repeat while you wait on the phone is really emphasising that point.

Adult films give young people a really unhealthy and unrealistic idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.

And dancers
It’s a mixture of bullying and harassment through the medium of a cha cha cha

Sound advice. Unless your Greg Wallace.

Henrik Larsson somehow looks like Simon & Garfunkel

The BBC managing to make a programme where Marcus Wareing is only the 2nd worst human on it, is perhaps their finest achievement in broadcasting to date.

Think wild is an under statement. Jodie Marsh gone full Weekend at Bernies!

I think we’ve had 3. We get through them pretty sharpish these days.

After much thought and deliberation I have decided it’s all got a bit too extreme for me on MySpace and will now be using this as my digital town square