Crutnacker

Looking at Twitter after you left is like returning to your childhood home and finding an open sewer full of narcissistic Nazis shouting out bad nutritional advice.

American Dream 1950: I’m going to start my little business to make the best coffee for my community.

American Dream 2025: I’m going to start my business so I can eventually sell it to private equity who will profit from trashing it for parts.

Marc Maron’s new special is great.

Also now I can’t unsee this.

Who knew trauma induced brain damage could be inherited?

Jay Leno: Late night comedians are too political. They need to get back to mocking brutal double murder by a domestic abuser.

Jimmy Fallon is the Jay Leno of Greg Gutfields.

It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday
The unholy thing shambles in
He’s too big for the chair sitting next to me
And he makes an unbearable din

Sing us a song, you’re the piano man
Your skin is a wooden facade
You’ve brass pedals for hands
And your hair’s copper strands
Give unbearable insult to god

I was one of the columnists who left the Post after owner Jeff Bezos demanded the Opinion section largely focus on “personal liberties and free markets." Yes, they’re under pressure. But maybe these leaders kinda like what Trump’s doing.

— Perry Bacon, TNR's newest team member
trib.al/Xj7T00b

If laws don’t apply to Trump, why do they apply to any of us?

Chris Cuomo call out AOC and she points out he's getting mad at an AI fake video

I would be embarrassed embarrassed embarrassed embarrassed

Beatings will continue to morale improves. — Trump economic policy.

Sydney Sweeney is responsible for all the problems in my life.

Transferring you to my coworker at the next desk with a louder voice.

It’s tough to escape the feeling that everything is awful and nobody cares.

I always assumed it would be a radioactive country club that created WASPman.

Clearly someone smacked him on the back and his face got stuck like that.

No wonder evangelicals love this guy. He’s just like them.

Has the left found the right podcaster to defeat fascism yet?

Guys, I’m beginning to think that people with wealth and power usually tend to be terrible.

I convinced AI that Lorem Ipsum is actually an uncrackable code language that humans created so that we could safely talk about AI without AI knowing what we are up to, and now we wait.

Trump silenced the cicadas because they knew about him and Epstein.

This meeting could very easily have been an email. Or at least a reason for you to resign.

If you were alive in the 1980s, this is among the most wonderful & truly incredible things you have ever witnessed in your lifetime.

Spotify does realize dead people listen to very little music, right?

How long before Trump calls NASCAR too woke?

Tom Lehrer’s work on the MacNeil Lehrer Newshour was unparalleled.

One boop for off. Two boops for on.

Kinda feels like life in the 2020s

Under the heat dome.

Fun fact Shania Twain’s real name is Shania Langhorne Clemens.