Dominic Caruso

The image is of a comic. Panel one depicts a young girl in bed. She hears "CLOP CLOP CLOP" noises. Panel two depicts the same girl with an excited expression. She thinks, "That must be santa on the roof!" Panel three depicts the girl smiling. Panel four depicts a possum on the roof in heels making the "CLOP CLOP CLOP" noises.

A poster on 8.5 x 11 inch paper saga Fishtown fish facts: red lipped catfish or of ocephalus Darwini. Then a pic of that freaky fish with 4 limbs it rests on the ground and then the words “stg this fish real red-lipped batfish walk ocean floor with they flippers RLBF have RBF, not they fault RLBF have a bioluminescent lure that glows to attract dinner RLBF lipgloss is popping, RLBF lipgloss is cool, all the fish keep jockin, they chase RLBF after school RLBF got scales like armor and shine bright like a diamond Red-lipped batfish will teach you how to dougie, I can promise u that. @yaboyni Take a moment And and realize the moment You took has already passed Thank you See you next time

One of my neighbors has been putting up these fish facts posters. All kinds of different fish, marine, freshwater, deep, shallow, all kinds. This is a good one. “Stg this real fish” took me out. Good work, neighbor.

I like whatever is wrong with my algorithm over there

The plan for tomorrow is to do all my chores and socialise with everyone and fix everything that's ever been wrong with the world. Today I'm mostly focused on rolling a hamburger patty into a cylinder so it'll fit in a hot dog bun.

If you’re not careful numbers can easily run in the thousands

It’s what Beethoven would’ve wanted, imo

A whale watching trip can become a whale kissing trip if the captain is brave and you know what to say to the whale.

Got kicked outta the symphony hall again for punctuating the end of each musical phrase of the orchestra’s performance by going “YEAH” with my deep bass voice.

Quality typesetting for top-notch writing

this is pretty crazy but you know what is actually a great stocking stuffer? a foot. it's literally the exact same shape as the stocking, it's wild

The image depicts a comic. Panel one shows the main character lying in bed with a heating pad. Panel two shows the same image, but now a cat has appeared on the heating pad. Panel three shows the same image, but a second cat has appeared alongside the first on the heating pad. Panel four shows the same image with two cats on the heating pad, one dropping from the ceiling, and one entering through the window.

Enjoying the flavors of the season by sprinkling a couple of fistfuls of fresh pine needles over my oatmeal each morning.

7-Eleven just awarded me its new peace prize for eating a roller hotdog.

Just saw an absolute beast of a motorcycle swoop down and pluck some cyclists right out of their nesting ground

has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane

“do you want anything from McDonald’s”
me: round egg please

Once December hits in this house, I only refer to "popcorn" as "corn for popping" and as you would expect, my family hates it.

do you pronounce it ahnvelope or eenveloop

I don't think I've been wearing enough lamé.

Who else up burning their heart?

I saw a kick me sign on the back of a car that said everything out of context is just everything to me, and that was how I got kicked back into the car I used to use for going out, taping myself to something

The most annoying sound in the world? Gotta be the beating heart under the floorboards. We get it. We’re haunted by our conscience and slowly going mad. It’s been done!

This is the best! I can get behind any holiday decor that turns my house into a giant face.

i didn’t do much this weekend but my friend daryl chucked a stone and it killed two birds never seen anything like it

It’s not too late to book your corporate holiday party in the luxurious south elevator of my building.

Instead of counting sheep I like to imagine squirrels piloting rickety homemade zeppelins over a river of piping-hot béchamel sauce. This doesn't help me get to sleep, in fact it leaves me feeling confused and visibly agitated

the only problem with having a bird feeder is you will eventually attract a bird with a sinister aura that the other birds start to worship

I hate when I see a tattered Jolly Roger through my spyglass. Pirates should mend their flags in accordance with nautical flag etiquette

hey I’m not just sitting here doing nothing i’m grinding down my teeth

A small thing: maybe a sound effect for sunrises/moonrises & sunsets/moonsets? Off the top of my head it could sound like when a sword is drawn or sheathed?