A Random Brandon

Close up of a Himalayan cat

you got any games on your phone

crazy red head portlandia meme (ft crazy eyes)

sometimes you gotta say unhinged shit and move on

Don’t mess with Nee Heil or he’ll make an example of you

gave myself a little treat this morning

it's okay to have fun during spooky month even if you're having a whole spooky life

The opposite of cellar door is creamy coleslaw

The president of america isn’t “dumb” he just doesn’t say words right or understand any of them

I can never finish a whole skeleton in one sitting

Your Doordash driver (Tim) is on his way with your pizza and one of those big skeletons from Home Depot

Sorry I’m late, boss. I had to give my cat uppies

ChatGPT, how do I save the dog?

Schools: don't use AI

Jobs: use chatgpt or we'll kill your dog *cocks gun*

a dog that looks like it's smiling and holding back tears

a Comedy Central Roast of me but like everyone is actually really nice and tells me I'm pretty and I just sit there like

As a former jnco jean goth/alt loser, I hate seeing normal people wearing wide leg pants now... feels like stolen valor

bachelorbator
masturbator
doctorbator

Jin has great jeans *eagle screech*

Wearing American Eagle jeans today... But in all fairness they're vintage and were probably made before Sidney was born

RFK jr in a chair, talking, looking stoned

“I kissed a dead bird I found on the side of the road once and got chirpes, which is a canarial disease.”

Yellowjackets Taissa holding pillow over somebody who is old male presenting

Vance visiting Trump at Walter Reed

“What would you do for a Klondike bar?”

Man what WOULDNT you do? Where is your integrity? Your dignity??

I'm with you every step of the way I'll probably get in the way and make things worse but I'll be there

You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself use a phone in public

Oh you’re an early nerd? Name all the worms

A drawing of an eel labeled 4 eels

I’m sorry Ms. Jackson (oooh)
I am

You’re in America. Rate the following on how many rights each is afforded:

Companies as people
Actually people
American flag
Guns
Women

Ouch

Gotta start pissposting

moby dick is short for Mobile Dickhead

how i'm waiting in line to be executed by the state