David Nerio

[introducing a girl to my parents]
these are the roommates i was telling you about

A wildly obese clown eats McDonald's with three terrified children

This was the last time Grimace picked up Ronald's shift

If ever there was to be an airport whose crowded airspace lead to the deaths of several elected officials, it would absolutely have to be the one renamed after the president that fired all the air traffic controllers.

I was joking with my therapist about how I had resisted Costco all these years because we truly do not have the storage and she looked me straight in the eye and said, "Costco sells sheds."

ending HIV is no longer a question of medical technology but a question of sufficient luigi

no one sang at my showing of Wicked but the man next to me with the silo-sized popcorn bucket made it last two hours and audibly moaned in pleasure at every single bite

Man stabbing another man through the top of his head

I appreciate your constructive criticism

Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony. However, eating too much pie is okay because the sin of pi is always zero.
🖖

the arc of the immoral universe is thicc af

It isn't a mid-life crisis, it is a mid-life realisation.

Sign on public storage building with lights burnt out in several letters, leaving “Public rage.”

I don’t think it will all fit in there.

Interstellar BBQ

LeRoy & Lewis

Corkscrew BBQ

la Barbecue

Four Texas Barbecue Joints got a Michelin Star!

Corkscrew BBQ
Interstellar BBQ
la Barbecue
LeRoy & Lewis

A screenshot of the Accessibility Settings on Bluesky with the button “Require alt text before posting” turned on

I keep getting better at adding alt-text and making it part of the rhythm of my online conversations by having this button on. Writing alt-text as my default means that I never forget it and it becomes my normal. Make alt-text your normal!

A plate of beef enchiladas covered in melted cheese with a side of Mexican rice and refried beans.

I’ve replaced doom scrolling with just going out to my local taqueria and other nearby restaurants since last Tuesday.

i hope every body finds the social media home they truly deserve

On this day in 1970, Charles Schulz replied to a 10-year-old kid who had written and asked, “What makes a good citizen?"

God grant me the serenity to accept I am cooked,

The courage to say fuck it we ball,

And the wisdom to know when we are so back

Don’t mind me, just got here and am on a following spree