Jessica

Me: “Please take this pill that will make you feel better.”
My dog:

In a climate where it would be so easy to shrink away and simply give up, this podcast continually renews my hope.

If you need to feel hopeful again, give a listen. We can do this.

Do you know how mad a former teacher needs to be to lose it like that on the House floor?

if the wheels had come off this thing any faster it'd be a Cybertruck

Following up by being in bed by 9pm on a Friday. 🤘🏼

Immediately after conducting jr high concert: I feel great! I could exercise or stay up for a while!

The next day: I am a shriveled husk of a human and I may disintegrate in a light breeze.

Very excited to go from “reading in recliner” season to “reading in hammock” season

It is amazing how many different baseball games my husband can be upset about on a given day.

As someone who grew up in the Orthodox Church… this is… something.

For a second, I thought this was just shelves of tiramisu.

I read “garden” and my brain did not follow.

Biggest commitment to a 3 second joke I've ever seen

OK, let’s see the best signs that you saw today.

The last thing you hear before I shove you out of the way as I sprint to the dance floor

a man in a white shirt and blue tie is standing next to a man in a blue uniform with the word lemon on it ALT: a man in a white shirt and blue tie is standing next to a man in a blue uniform with the word lemon on it

Season 2 of #severance was great. Thrill ride. Captivating.

Can’t wait for season 3 where we get Milchick backstory and more Milchick dance moves. 🤞🏻 👀

(Depressed Idina Menzel voice) I think I’ll tryyyyy

There has been a lot of chatter today about Zelenskyy's meeting with Trump, some regarding this moment when White House correspondent Brian Glenn asked if the Ukrainian president plans to wear a suit. I want to address idea in this thread. 🧵

When will people realize he means what he says??? He’s not joking.

The line between the right amount of vibraslap and too much vibraslap is fine… but very important.

Cackling

*Billie Joe Armstrong voice* “not gonna call it the Gulf of America”

[power chords]

At least we still have the Puppy Bowl. 🐾🐶 #PuppyBowl

I wish my brain, my heart, and my tummy could all agree on the appropriate amount of coffee.

My dad and I have a fun relationship. He suggests I make my coffee at home to save money, and I suggest he not vote for fascists to save our country.

Feels like I don’t need to follow his advice for a bit.

an orange cat calmly looking out the window. a battery candle is lit on window next to him

What a weird time. Hold onto your butts

On top of everything else that is unsettling… Is it weird that he’s covering his left hand / wedding ring? Is that me reading too much into something else?

“I don’t need to wear my bike shorts for this workout”… a lesson in hubris.

Riddle me this: why is a Vicks vapor inhaler covered under my Flex account but not a toothbrush?

“I had a My Little Pony that smelled like this” is a sentence that reminds me of how old I am at the most unsuspecting times.

And the line of not enough vs too much is different every day ☕️

Salieri in “Amadeus”: