The Smartest Floridian

“Did you like that necklace I got you? You don’t remember? I gave it to you last week. You said you loved it. You really forgot that quickly?”

What grave sin did I commit against you that you felt the need to curse my tormented eyes with this?

"Oh sure! Yeah we totally pledge to not prosecute."
>4 years later
"We lied. Ironic, isn't it?"

the base and plates to the scales in the logo for the International Criminal Court

Gotta love how even the ICC seal looks done with our shit.

...or like a Dorian Gray thing. One day in the future someone will bring up Harry Potter and say exactly the right thing and she will age as poorly as her franchise.

GUM brand toothbrush covers

of course not!
A. that's gross
B. I have a cat
It's in a drawer with one of these on it.

he says he's a thirsty little flower

whaddya think's gonna pack her her up first, the sharpies or the mold?

nevada's top search being las vegas gives the vibes of a dude looking at himself in a mirror during sex

i'd watch that.

instead of beams of energy or whatever they just throw hands while their friends cheer 'em on.

some red dude with spikes coming from his shoulders is getting kicked in the junk by a brunette in a flashy outfit while her friends are on the sidelines screaming "get his ass, makoto!"

Tien Shinyan

"I have a DAUGHTER!" no, asshole, you lost a son, and I hope he's happier for it. The dude deserves better than you will ever allow yourself to be.

"I guessed from the moment you walked in the door that you were a 'From Autumn to Ashes' fan, you smell like menthol and depression."

...so you're saying he fits right in.

Kid from a meme image about skinless weiners (a.k.a hot dogs, frankfurters, etc. not penises) In the original, he says, "Gee, Bill! Why does mom let you eat two weiners?"

"New challenger approaching!" Get him, Zeetha!

I know they said it's The Lion, but I can still have my fingers crossed that this is secretly how they bring back Vulkan.

"VULKAN LIVES!!!"
>stomp stomp<

hey at least you live in a country that *has* frazzles

I can remember when you could stumble into a Sears blind as a bat, and get an eye exam and a new pair of glasses in under an hour for free.

Poppy seed pod leaking "poppy milk" from a cut.

I'll take the clown saying terrible puns any day over this rank garbage.

Y- yeah... 👫

YouTube video by Bobfysh dragon ball evolution car slide

Dragonball Evolution.
I don't think I need to even expand on that.

The best thing to come out of that movie is this YouTube Poop:
youtu.be/cyn6XYW2T64?...

I watched it until I heard the word "unobtanium" and I was like "oh, this is gonna be *stupid* stupid."

I finished it the one time, but yeah, naw.

I'd watch a machinima of Nazeem, Heimskr, Delphine, and Maven being in a SAW room.
"I want to play a game..."

"that doesn't count as proof because reasons"

Eve of the Low Farts

I sincerely hope Sam Altman never has to care for another human being. He's gonna ask ChatGPT how to prepare a bath for an infant, it's gonna start the directions with "preheat oven to 350", and the stupid asshole will do it!

reading this at 3:30 in the morning due to the horrors really feels targeted rn ngl

"god I hope so" as I put the sixth case in my cart