Tactical Strogg

{teenage mutant ninja turtles} giant acme tuna hoagie

They should let me direct a megalon solo film in the monsterverse. I would make him a beautiful tragic figure

Walked past a family on the street today and one of the kids went “mom you watch SO MUCH tv and none of it is even good.”

Dude you gotta get on my dream server with me. It’s the server my mind goes on when I dream. Yeah, yeah I’ve got all the SVEN co-op player models up there. We can be the ladies from ps2 half life

Shitting himself to death has got to be in at least the top 5 most likely ways he goes right

Was trying to figure out why this bass pro shops hoodie fits me in such a bizarre way and then i realized its because it was designed for someone roughly my height but twice as wide

I know they don’t put this in the history books. Hell you probably won’t even print it. But the reality is that the Woke 2 Partisans would have gotten slaughtered if it weren’t for the UN Blademasters embedded in our ranks. One of those guys was worth 27 of us. Saw one deflect a tank shell once

Had like, 2 or 3 i consistently like. Generally i do think they benefit from being on tap more than other beers even

No way they have any presence on this app but shoutout darkside snowboards. I will keep buying your merch until the day i die

One i know i’ll definitively bring with me because its from my favorite snowboard shop and another one was 10 bucks so I’m feeling ok so far on this

Buying multiple new hoodies this hear despite already owning too many and knowing i’ll have to get rid of half of them when i move this summer anyways

Logically i understand WHY straight women feel so comfortable oversharing with queer men but personally speaking i wish it would stop happening to me

New jar of sundried tomato pesto acquired

Last night i had a dream me and my friend were in a giant department store in a giant mall and we were going around asking people if they wanted to be my butler as a joke. But they kept saying yes and giving me their contact info and then i got really stressed out because i was gonna have 16 butlers

Groundhog coming out of his hole only to immediately get grabbed by a giant bird of prey that no one has ever seen before

This place, it’s not just a base. It’s our home.

I like Windom Earle as a concept: broaching the idea that the government and its agents know more about the mystical darkness underpining the world than they let on and showing how obsession with that darkness drives you to evil. But i think the way he’s used is too overthetop supervillainish

Rocket Lawn Chair

I have to move 1000 pounds of product by the end of the week or I’m fucked. They’re gonna grab me and break my knees and leave me on the side of the road on a winter night to freeze to death unless I find a buyer in the next 3 days. The product is post it notes

This horse’s name is Warrior and he killed 4 of his trainers in cold blood sneak attacks

In the year 5623 people will have names like Jerkoff Worldwide and Jaxon 999

I’m gonna get super pneumonia and mutate into an awful creature

They took my friend down to freaky town and we never saw or heard from him again

You too brother. Great powder this weekend. Get at it.

Get fucked on loser

My callsign is 5 beers and a glass of wine

I love everyone in the world except my enemies and the evil people

Hey

Omg twinning. Great weekend for it have a great time