Joe Kugelmass

TRASH MOVIES: NEIGHBORS EDITION

1930s. They are eccentric, a little grotesque, but lovable!
1940s. They are in this together; heck, we’re ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
1950s. We shock them? Oh, nvm, they’re total hypocrites.
1960s. They are coming over later and we’re all gonna get fucking blasted.

OK I am not allowing any more Beekeepers to play Symbolic Roles in works of modern fiction. We already have Bee Season, The Bee Sting, Constellations (I know you haven’t read it, but trust me, bees), The Bees — which is a whole novel about bees, who think about nada all their lives…

#bee=buzzpuns

Cannabis Can Teach Us Some Important Things Neuroscience Forgot The drug remains an open question for science to answer. || Joseph Kugelmass

My new article on SpliceToday!

www.splicetoday.com/pop-culture/...

anyone who got on social media after 2014 or so is under the mistaken impression that the primary goal of social media is for it to Accomplish Something while those of us who have been on since the start know the true purpose of social media is to give us a place to Post so we don't go (more) insane

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN WON'T AND WONT THAT CLOSE TOGETHER BEFORE? NO, YOU HAVEN'T. THIS IS UNREAL

This kind of attitude, on the part of the aristocracy, provoked incredible riots throughout Paris when it was widely publicized that Marie's taco contained $45 (modern equivalent) worth of lettuce

lettuce, by the way, shreds perfectly if you have a guillotine at home...will post photos later

Well, I think that means that all of us, ALL OF US, can get the same disease that Charles Wallace had. The struggle of the farandolae is real, everyone! It could happen to you!

#awindatthedoor #madeleinelengle

Holy shit, it's the velveteen LEGO

#thevelveteenLEGO #skinhorse #childhoodnightmares

To be clear, that means, recipes for food puppies can eat.

#ToServeMan

Broker: "This is a stock exchange, there's no money you can steal!"
Bane: "Really? Then what are you people doing here?"

-The Dark Knight Rises

Actually you're supposed to leave a slight eau-de-barnyard in, around the edges -- just like how the best fugu chefs leave in just enough neurotoxin to mwake ore lipsz nmmb

#ChickenToeRecipeSwap

Sure, it CAN be reversed, but not without harming the time-space continuum forever. I installed one of these and a nearby apple unripened. I was like, "IN THIS HOUSE WE OBEY THE LAWS OF THERMODYNAMICS"

Nature abhors Maxwell's demon

Until I see that formalized I'm gonna reserve judgement

I think we can all agree that the Minutemen's best song, ever, was "Standing In Front Of An Air-Conditioner On Full Power"

#observationalpunks

"We have put a new problem on the board that took us over five years to solve, mostly because the variable 'x' was written in this very strange fashion, as if the only erasable marker they had was glued to a compass."

Will Hunting, immediately: "Solved it!"

Extra with one line: "HOW? OH MY"

This is like a crazy riddle: "where do children jump, teenagers venture, adults dare, and the auld remember the auld days..." the answer is, nice restaurants. Also, trampolines. But personally I believe riddles should have only one answer.

I've seen this take a zillion times; a zillion times. "Just because I don't believe in Hell doesn't mean I'm going to go hit strangers on the head with a dead cat. I have not that impulse!"

Oh, great. Now we have to go around asking everyone what their IMPULSES are? #quicksurvey #asimov #sophism

Sad about this, although this guy had nine lives, and lived each one to the fullest (and differently each time). RIP. I'm listening to my Beach Boys playlist today AND my Barenaked Ladies playlist, which only has one song on it, "Brian Wilson."

#lyinginbed #betterthanlyinginoffice #brianwilson

Snowden, via Poitras

It's nice to be here! Holy cow this is better than X, and I haven't read a single post yet.

As a result, like Snowden, I feel good in my human experience!