Devon

Happy I haven’t had cooking gas in 7 months day!!!🫠

My younger sister’s thoughts when I told her to stay hydrated during a wine tasting lol

Lol, she made the coach move into her guest house to supervise them, I would have been like, k thanks, I’ll be staying in your house while you’re here, bye

That also seems far fetched at first, but I guess sports taking a priority over literally everything else at a school isn’t that unrealistic when you think about it

She’s the college president and has to host the football team at her house while a pipe is being fixed at their dorm, because god forbid they lose any practice time by having to stay in a hotel off campus

I can normally suspend my disbelief when I watch hallmark movies, but I draw the line at a middle aged woman who’s used to living alone actually enjoying having to share a house with a bunch of 18 year olds

Waiting in line for ice cream and someone behind me sounds like the “I’m a very sexy baby!” lady from 30 Rock

One of them already kind of did before they even got engaged 😬

In other news, the wedding I was supposed to go to in a couple weeks got called off and I don’t know why 😬

Ok, I just have to wait until tomorrow afternoon. Love how my parents will just change the subject after they hurt my feelings instead of letting me tell them why what they said was fucked up, it’s cool 🙃

Nooo, she needs to reschedule because she has a migraine 🫠

Lol, my parents reminding me why I go to therapy 2 hours before my next appointment 🫠

Bachelor Nation for Zohran!!!

YouTube is giving me ads for $14 million houses in the Hamptons, like??? I work for a nonprofit?

So delusional I’m just like, what the hell, sure

And yes, it is practically 3 am and I’m still awake because I make bad decisions to keep spending more time with my friends instead of sleeping

Just remembered I’m supposed to do an exercise stress test in the morning. I also got my COVID and flu shots on Monday afternoon, so here’s hoping I don’t get side effects?

Old Noby 🙃🙃

Eric Adams be in nightclubs on weeknights and commuting back to NJ. Meanwhile you don't want to spend 30 minutes on the Q train to see an out of town visitor because you're already in your pajamas. Show some respect!

Global warming is fucking with Apple picking season. I should not be sweating like a pig when I’m picking apples 😭

I would be so tempted to buy this frowning turtle if the store was open

I think the conservative woman I went to high school with thinks that the people posting photos of themselves with Tylenol are actually mainlining Tylenol and doesn’t realize they’re joking

They’re doing it for me to see how my artificial valve is functioning since the results from the other echo I had done in July were a bit unclear, and I also had it done to confirm I had endocarditis back in 2019

They basically stick a camera down your throat so they can get a better look at your heart, so they give you medicine to numb your throat and light anesthesia

I have trans esophageal echocardiogram on Friday, which means I need to get knocked out for the procedure, and it’s not until 1:30 pm, so I guess I will just not eat that day until like dinner time I guess?

Mayor swagger at it again

If I was the president, I apparently could make an hour long speech about how the MTA wronged me by having a broken escalator at the Court Square subway station

Eric Adams surrounded by members of the Sephardic Lebanese Congregation. He is wearing a blue velvet jacket that is embroidered with gold Magen David’s and other Jewish seeming patterns, including multiple menorahs. Everyone else is just in button down shirts or normal suits. He is not blending in.

You guys do yourself a favor and look at what Eric Adams wore to Rosh Hashanah services at the Sephardic Lebanese Congregation

I get anxious when I don’t have plans after work/on the weekend, and then I make too many plans and get anxious in a slightly different way

The one lady suggesting using the land for affordable housing and Jesse Waters immediately shuts her down lmao