Daniel Goodwin

Fascists exploiting tragedy to do more fascism is a tale as old as time.

I feel you.

I always wished I was like Gambit, but I’m more Jubilee.

Broke: Quisling. Antiquated, kinda icky sounding, already on the verge of falling out of usage.

Woke: Schumer. Topically relevant, still a living guy whose feelings will be hurt, might cause him to lose an election.

I bet Trump is gonna release them tax returns any day now.

Yep, and then they spend all of season 4 getting everything back on track. Season 4 is basically just what season 3 should have been.

Almost a third of the country believes that the government is keeping the budget sustainable even though it objectively is not and hasn’t been for 25 years, and that was before yesterday’s deficit-exploding bill.

The fact that Republicans spent weeks quibbling over deficit reduction and didn’t hesitate to give Trump a private army demonstrates the total disconnect between what they think is happening and what is going to happen.

Start inoculating your peeps against “sleeper cells” rhetoric. This is 100% a pretext for rounding up Muslims.

I don’t think I have once been delighted by a fake apology prank video.

We gotta stop with the fucking conspiratorial thinking. Not everything is a distraction from something else.

They’re just doing a lot of bad stuff at the same time.

In case you’re new to paying attention to politics, politicians making fun of people getting killed is not normal.

Easily one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen in my life.

Them tank treads are now the squeak heard ‘round the world.

I keep seeing this talking point about how Trump is a hypocrite for pardoning the J6 rioters but sending in the National Guard to fight the anti-ICE protests.

They don’t care about hypocrisy.

They experience no cognitive dissonance over it.

They see you as their enemy and seek to defeat you.

The amount of people in this country who clearly just don’t understand what a lot of words mean is really staggering sometimes.

Anybody upset about the plantation burning down wants to own slaves.

A whole cow produces like 20 pounds of tallow, so I’m guessing we get like a pound at most out of your literally trifling ass.

If you think of yourself as a “high value” man, you are not.*

*unless you have a lot of gold in your teeth, in which case maybe but not in a way that you will benefit.

After Gregory went out in his first go, I’ll never put faith in any one player from the get again.

Hey remember when less than a month ago almost everyone at the top of the administration was involved in leaking classified war info to the editor or a major news outlet?

@johngreensbluesky.bsky.social I just wanted to let you know that your haircut looks really good in the CBS interviews.

Is there like an anti-ASMR gene? Because I caught a rogue ASMR video on TikTok and now I feel like I want to barf.

How come when we were kids every few years there’d be a whole ass assembly where they’d sell us yo-yos?

Like, why did that toy get a pass?

I did this and she demanded treats, so I guess that means she considers you part of the family now.

Here’s my scalding hot take of the day:

Doomerism is just Rapture Theology for people who aren’t Christian fundamentalists.

Drake will become the Ea-Nasir of rappers

It’s “funny” in the same way racist jokes are funny, which is to say: not.

I had the thought yesterday that Tesla-drivers are basically the new low-end BMW drivers. And this isn’t entirely fair, because a lot of people bought Teslas before they knew Musk was a Nazi.

But it’s still kinda true.

And anyone who drives a Cybertruck is 100% this kind of person.

I hope all of the news orgs that bent the knee to Trump and then got kicked out of the press room fail and have to close.

I hope even harder that there is something to replace them that actually does the job of the news.

Yeah, my dog was a huge fan of the 7 AM throw up right between me and the fridge to ensure that my groggy ass experienced maximum sock puke-absorption.