One Wheel, No Brain

Fa la la la la, la la la la?

Isn't that La Femme Nikita?

Right. Here's my big pitch:

Muppet James Bond

James Bond in…A Heart-Felt Goodbye

Dominic Cooper as Bond
Kermit M Frog
Mrs Moneypiggy
Beaker & Dr Bunsen HoneyQ

The agents of G.O.N.Z.O. want to kidnap the world's chickens. MI5 has a mole (Rizzo the Rat). An agent is undercover as a chef in Sweden.

You pay fuel duty. Why don’t billionaires?

This week, we launched WeWingAnyCar.com to help you qualify for the same tax breaks that private jets get.

Because tax loopholes shouldn’t just be for billionaires.

They’re for everyone.

SUV ads 'must go down the tube' Call to stop promoting pollution on London’s transport system.

Read all about it!! theecologist.org/2025/nov/06/...

Brilliant new ad campaign I just spotted at the Southwark tube station in London.

A poster with brightly coloured cakes advertising today's "Cake Stall" at Barripper Chapel, which is actually a sit-down affair for most attendees

#FMSPAD 7/11 A bright sign: Too riddled with cold germs to stay, but well enough to go in wearing a facemask to buy lots of cheese scones near the beginning of today's perforce shorter than usual bike ride #FMS_Bright25

Vibrant light green leaves apparently sprouting from the ground among darker living leaves and assorted bits of dead brown plant matter

#FMSPAD 6/11 Something green that grows: By way of comparison to the other day, here's one which has not yet recognised autumn #FMS_Green25

Sherlock, a very fluffy white/cream Maine Coon cat, sits on a landing and looks gormlessly off screen

#FMSPAD 5/11 Something pastel and soft #FMS_Pastel25

A large clump of deeply browning ferns or bracken behind a wooden fence

#FMSPAD 4/11 A tone of brown outside: At least there are some plants starting to realise it's autumn #FMS_Brown25

A yellow and grey tracked mini-digger on a trailer

#FMSPAD 3/11 A yellow car: Not a popular colour, it seems, but I did see this #FMS_Yellow25

Support the solstice! Montol 2025 www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/montol-202...

I have successfully done that occasionally. I don't remember whether any of them survived, but although unlikely, I can believe it is possible with enough attempts

Q: Okay but why are you doing this?
I don't know.

Even if three hops was in any way sensible, surely you still need to identify the people you're targeting to know how many hops away they are?

Oops, he is actually called "Kriss Akaspoony," of course. It was only the team name which changed

Two unopened bright red packs of Mars "fun size family favourites", an unopened net bag of chocolate balls wrapped in pumpkin orange foil, an unopened net bag of "milk chocolate popping candy eyeballs," and a Kilner jar half full of roasted pumpkin seeds

#FMSPAD 2/11 Something red in my home: Massively over provisioned again. We had about 60-80 trick-or-treaters, but even if rain hadn't put a lot of the rest off, we might still not have got as far as opening these #FMS_Red25

All of the ingredients mentioned in the tweet, plus the implied oats, laid out on the worktop

All of the ingredients in the pan, except the milk and yoghurt, finely chopped as necessary, before cooking

The finished porridge in the pan; mid brown and very thick, with unshelled sunflower seeds and bits of carrot and pumpkin visible under the surface. In the middle is a big splodge of Greek yoghurt, and toasted pumpkin seeds are sprinkled on top

Leftovers in porridge this morning: carrot ends, whole orange plus juice, garlic, Greek yoghurt, first of this year's frozen pumpkin flesh plus roasted seeds, foam starch packing peanuts, frozen raw ginger, ginger beer, coconut milk, cheesy caramel popcorn seasoning

A box of Toffifee, a big bottle of handwash, a pack of Biscoff biscuits, and a blue can of body spray, all standing behind a wooden spoon which is decorated to look almost but not entirely unlike Kriss Akabusi

#FMSPAD 1/11 Something blue i saw today: Team Quiz Akaspooky won the not-actually-Hallowe'en-but-we-dressed-up-anyway quiz and a few prizes in the raffle, pictured here with our mascot Kriss Akaspooky #FMS_Blue25

Me in this year's Hallowe'en get up: black cloak over black velvet jacket. White dog skull mask and pointy white ear extensions over blacked out eyes and a black snood pulled up over my mouth, so no natural skin is visible. Topped off with my Morris hat; a top hat decorated with ribbons and badges

#FMSPAD 31/10 Goodbye October: I may be going out again today like this though #FMS_ByeOct25

A glowing pumpkin jack-o-lantern placed on a barely visible squat skeleton body

#FMSPAD 30/10 Love: It's the most wonderful time, of the year. Although this time it was even more unprepared and rushed than usual. Only managed to carve one of my two pumpkins, and no other decorations to go with them #FMS_Love25

A fuzzy shot of the moon hiding behind some clouds

#FMSPAD A sunset: In this economy/season? #FMS_Sunset25

Me in the mirror, looking at the phone I'm taking the picture with. My face has been shorn of the goatee which has adorned it for the last few years

#FMSPAD A reflection: No face fuzz for the next few days, as there will be several occasions where it will interfere with makeup #FMS_Reflection25

It was where the unicycle world championships were held on the only time it was in the UK. I won a gold medal, by way more luck than skill

Sherlock, a fluffy white/cream Maine Coon cat, lies on a bed with his front legs almost completely under the pillow. He looks alert for a change, but hasn't actually moved at all for several minutes

#FMSPAD 27/10 Stillness in nature: You would be hard pressed to find a more placid soul. Sherlock was there while I was making the bed, and probably wouldn't have moved even I'd covered him entirely with the pillow, rather than just his arms which were in the way #FMS_Stillness25

Mycroft, is this a friend of yours? @holmiesathome.bsky.social

A Kukuxumuu cuddly toy blue wolf in sheep's clothing with a rather mad but dopy expression on its face, sitting down in front of a black background. It is looking upwards, but not quite directly at a white plastic bottle cap taped to the background

#FMSPAD 26/10 Something joyful: A souvenir I picked up in Donostia / San Sebastián some years ago #HowlAtTheMoonDay #FMS_Joyful25

All of the ingredients mentioned in the tweet, plus the implied oats, but not the marshmallows, which were a bit of an afterthought

All of the ingredients except the milk, yoghurt, cream and marshmallows, finely chopped where necessary, in the pan before cooking

The finished porridge in the pan: very thick and dark green, which unshelled sunflower seeds and carrot chunks visible under the surface. In the middle is a big insulating splodge of Greek yoghurt, then a big lump of coloured cream. Mini marshmallows are sprinkled over the whole thing

Leftovers in porridge this morning: carrot ends and leaves, orange juice, garlic, Greek yoghurt, birdseed, used tea leaves, foam starch packing peanuts, frozen marble cake, frozen ginger, clotted cream, cows' milk, coconut milk

All of the ingredients mentioned in the original tweet, laid out on the worktop

All of the ingredients crammed into the blender cup. The foam starch hasn't been squashed down yet, so there are some gaps visible, and the carrot ends are poking out of the top

Before blending

A surprisingly bright green smoothie still in the blender cup. It is so thick that the surface is extremely not flat, and there are unshelled sunflower seeds and finely chopped carrot stalks sprinkled on top

#FMSPAD 25/10 Favourite drink: but needed a spoon. Leftovers in oat smoothie this am: carrot ends/stalks, orange juice, whole but zested orange, garlic, Greek yoghurt, frozen marble cake, frozen ginger, foam starch packing peanuts, used blackcurrant tea leaves, clotted cream, cows' milk #FMS_Drink25