The Mediocre Chainsaw Carver

I'll get one for each of my friends.

What do you mean?

That felt good.

'How to be a woman', by @mscaitlinmoran.bsky.social

Heard her being hilarious in an interview, also I am woke af

The chapter on fashion is longer than the chapter about her getting married.

Next up on the reading list is a novel about Hemingway beating a bull to death with his dick. Balance.

Ok, you clean my bathroom, and I will eat pizza till I fall asleep.

Different denominations of Christianity are so weird.

"One God"

"Agreed"

"Jesus"

"Yep"

"Ten Commandments"

"Correct"

"Heaven and Hell, eternal life, love and sin"

"You and me, same page"

"Jesus's fave colour was blue"

"Yes, a lovely navy blue"

"Navy!? I will fucking kill your whole family"

You are a..

Running the hoover round.

Two spiders tumble from 'neath the radiator. Throwing hands, sixteen leg tussle.

Sucked 'em up the tube. Enter the Thunderdome.

#maybepoem

A tattoo.

Oh yeah, weed and ting.

Did someone just say that?

Oh yeah, weed and ting.

It's an uphill battle.

For all the good it'll do me, I might as well shove this enriched uranium up my arse.

You old softy, @irvinewelsh.bsky.social

Hope wrapped in cynicism

I genuinely laughed and cried. Completely absorbing. Couldn't put it down and couldn't stand to see what was coming next.

Also, whoever plays Mikey Forrester in the film adaptation, you really built their part up this time round :)

What is a shitpost?

Sarcastic answers only. I am not here to learn.

The Sun was just too much, too clingy, always there, always all over me.

Now it's taken the hump because I criticised it and it has totally fucked off to Norway or somewhere.

I was happy when it was here, but I could see other weather too, clouds and a nice breeze, bit of variety.

If a skeeter skeets into the skeeterverse and it gets no skeets, does it skeet a skeet?

Dumb.

Just saved the world, guys.

Giant, solar-powered freezers, to refreeze the glaciers.

Have that one on me, buy me a pint sometime.

Boffins, to work.

Petition to deport all maga Americans back to Europe, where they came from. Then back to Africa, the birthplace of the species, then into the fucking ocean, where all life began. Bottom-feeding cunts.

#nokings

Mood

Starts typing out hateful email, fighting back the vomit, as tears fall on my keyboard.

"I just want him to be happy,"

Oh, wait, irony.

Hey, new followers. Caught me right in the middle of a burnout and depression.

So won't be posting anymore gold for a minute.

If you enjoy my pinned video, give it a repost. Even though it is shit and I hate it and everything else I have ever done x

I don't give a shit if this place is an echo-chamber.

Just had to log on to FB for my regular business, and it is a hell-hole of anger-angling, AI bullshit, people laughing at suffering, on and on.

I would rather be in a cave with you, your art, humanity, laughter, music, echoing off every wall.

A bright yellow, blue and red piece of a distorted face with lopsided eyes and lush lips

I am like you

Confused
Overwhelmed

Acrylic painting of a young black haired woman getting packaged for shipping

Penelope getting ready for traveling

Never trust any man that makes a sweeping generalisation about his own gender.

When it gets to the point of actually having to eat the rich, could we see what's in their kitchen first? Like, a frozen pizza would probably be better.

Yeah, I'm a coward. Wanna fight about it?