Miss Suzy

Writing elevated porn, where everyone wears glasses.

They’re not titties. It’s autumn. They’re called decorative gourds now.

Slutty bagel Halloween costume

Paint your ass like a pumpkin and hop on the copy machine for some fun office decorations!

repost if you love women and gender-affirming care 💕

@rollot.bsky.social is recovering from surgery

she is a beautiful soul

and that soul deserves boobs

purchase a collection of very funny and good podcasts by smart and cool people AND/OR just send her money ✨

who up jackin’ they o’lantern?

i'm two or three showers away from being clean forever

Got fired from the drive thru for telling customers “The root of your suffering is your desire”

Cradling a burrito in my hands and rubbing my cheek against its warm little package. Yep, totally normal.

there is no I in team but there is a squirrel in my bathtub

OR DOES IT

Gone with the wind plate $40 The image shows a painted plate with mammy lacing scarlett up from the movie but they all look a little extra saucy if you ask me like scarlett is in full brat mode

this commemorative gone with the wind collector's plate needs to calm tf down

WASTED AWAY AGAIN IN MARIJUANAVILLE

I once threw a Halloween party and a flying squirrel got into my foyer and people were running up and down the stairs like in christmas vacation

Always use anesthesia before your girlfriend chews off your foreskin

🎶Don’t let your son go down on me🎶

when I was in high school, Hogwarts was something you got antibiotics for

Getting into amateur falconry n shit just grabbing mad seagulls n pigeons n tying them together with rope

New England, you're so cute with your 12' skeletons and bisected lawn corpses. You'll never go as hard as my old neighbors in VA with their hand-painted board featuring Satan dressed as He-Man devouring children and the words YOU BELONG TO YOUR FATHER THE DEVIL

This is NOT a euphemism or metaphor. Science knows how filthy a dick is. Don't put those fucking things in your mouth. In fact, wash it yourself before you let it anywhere near your vaginer.

As somebody that has dated everybody's husband I know the reason men cheat is because their wives only like cheese on their pizza, so you ladies gotta put some sausage in your mouth to keep a man.

Yeah sure let's get some horny posts around here, why not.

Continuing my tradition of straight up blocking any account with a couples pfp

Deep conditioning?

[during sex] what's a nice guy like you doing in a hole like this?

People keep saying DHS and I keep wondering why anybody would be angry about getting a parcel delivered IT IS NOT THE WEED. USE FULL WORDS.

Why are all these monkeys watching me sleep
A lot of them are coughing and have cold sores
It reminds me of college

fried chicken is just regular chicken that got their wings on my weed

Joan Strange Beaver (1935-1998) - Find a Grave...

Joan Strange Beaver
www.findagrave.com/memorial/249...