Inside of all of us there are two tigers - one is the king of the jungle and the other is Tigger.

I LOVE COLLEGE FOOTBALL COACHES SAYING STUFF LIKE, “WE’RE GOING TO GO OUT THERE AND GLORIFY GOD” I’M GOONG TO BECOME A COACH AND SAY SHIT LIKE “THOUGH WE MIGHT CONQUER IN BATTLE A THOUSAND TIMES A THOUSAND MEN, WE’RE THE GREATEST BATTLE WINNER IF WE CONQUER JUST ONE - OURSELVES !!!”

I HAVE BEEN ASKED BEFORE, “DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING TO GO WHEN YOU DIE ?” AND ON THE ONE HAND, EVERYONE I KNOW AND LOVE WILL BE IN HELL. HOWEVER, ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN. SO

I hope they validate parking in heaven.

Pooping in a toilet is beta behavior !! Dig a hole !!

If I had to describe my current state of physical fitness it would be shower time, adderall, glass of whiskey, and diesel jeans.

Do you think there is anyone out there who went by Chazz in the 90’s/2000’s that has named their daughter Chazzalynn or Chazzee or something? If you know of anyone, please let me know.

AI this !! AI that !! I sleep well at night because I know that AI will never replace me at what I do best - it cannot hate itself as much as I hate myself.

I hope they have 5G in heaven

My most aggro quality is that whenever I see football being played in the snow I immediately think to myself “… hell yeah”

You either die the cheesemonger or you live long enough to see yourself become the cheese-monster

Also, no WiFi !!!!!!!

In fact, no chairs at all !!! Just counter service with five sensory deprivation chambers !!! Imagine sipping a shot of 200 hour anaerobically processed Geisha in this state !!

FREE IDEA FOR ALL NEW COFFEE SHOPS - no more of those horrid metal chairs !!!

A real picture of me enjoying my first couple of days on Bluesky dot com!! Keep it up everybody!!!