Liste

16 friars playing footsie under the refectory table. Time seems to slow down. It's escalating. Everyone is kicking really hard now. Sweating, knitting brows. Bright red tonsures underpainted cyanotic by bated breath

Well like. Homosapien means wise guy. I'm just a foolish girl. I don't think I should be judged for the crimes of a species antithetical to my own

5-dimensional adjudicator: ʙᴇ sɪʟᴇɴᴛ, sᴀᴘᴇ. ᴡᴇ sᴀᴡ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴏsᴛs. ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘᴇɴɪs

British people say happy Christmas because they still don't believe gays should merry

no perk tree for it so it's not that reliable since it only procs off consumables

boys these days have trouble achieving their imago because they would rather 'go goon' than cocoon

The assassination of the CEO of United Healthcare is a stark reminder that we NEED gun control. Not because it shouldn't have happened, but because it should have been done with a Contraption

me (casually running like RE3 Nemesis): idk I was thinking maybe SOIF could be short for some one I'm following? but would it be said soyf or like. Swaf

soif (sprinting in terror): Get da Hell away fram me !

deeply painful that people will grow up hearing quotes like 'fear is the mind-killer' and 'fear clouds judgment' and still allow fear to turn their hearts toward hate. Insecurity, the unknown, of powerlessness. It's reflected so heavily in bigotry and unspeakable cruelty.

oh sure cool. nobody cares when I go for an early morning sniff but when The Department of Energy Nuclear Support Team helicopter does it it's a headline

doing an incredible front flip and sticking the landing. Spectators are clapping but they don't yet know the slightly elevated g-force has killed me

my woke coworker saw my forehead open up like a garage door cause I pressed the wrong button

her: honestly you're just so fucking full of yourself

me (rubbing suspiciously me-shaped belly): what. nn- *eerrrp* noam not

my. third eye stopped opening after i jacked off wrong and the cum went backwards, blocking my chakras

a storm of interloping thoughts diluting the rich pools of my thesian mindscape til I'm naught but my own intruder

(getting brainwashed by automotive manufacturers) I cant be free without this manacle!! We should build cities around our chains,

smokeing a decroded joint and pointing the rifle at my skull. but when I pull the trigger I miss n blast a hoal right through an exogenous thetan before it can mass

30 years of sony showing bloodborne makes me feel like im losing at chess to a dog

Mondays are my "Wednesday" which presents a unique hell

I guess this is goodbye... For Now

*folds self neatly into your underwear drawer*

realizing I'm not 17 anymore and sprinting to the closest liquor store so fast I die of hypoxia

injecting the bacteria that eats plastic directly into my balls and accidentally melting my keyboard at 6am

the world's logic fell away like a rocket's first stage when i learned that crows roost and roosters crow

just made it thru November, makes sense we'd bowl a few turkeys

call me furry tartare the way my meat's better rawr

as if I didn't feel enough of a failure for dropping out before getting my diploma, I'm just now learning like everyone has around 98.6 degrees?

idiot in the streets, dumbass in the skeets

my brain automatically converted this to a haiku but the compression was lossy

(waking up and seeing 2039 on my medical wristband)

me: ..Nǐ hǎo. Zài nǎlǐ..?

Nurse: what? Uh. You must be disoriented. You've been in a coma for 14 years

me: oh. Okay. I just thought things would be more Chinese by now

Nurse:

me: can I go back to sleep

Yo what's it called when they tilt the camera to cause a sense of unease?

me (smiling wisely): they call it da changle