Bananaman

maybe i am going insane

Yinzers call it “Pretzel Salad” and before you dissect everything wrong with that term yes I am aware of all of your counterpoints, I was born and raised there.

Shit I forgot he’s our OC

Granting wishes for some great foster home kids.

Appreciate you @treblaw.bsky.social and your better half, a great yearly tradition. Sophia is getting an Echo. And I’ll grant a wish for each tuddie scored by PSU tonight!

🧵 We are, in fact, doing the thing again for @onesimplewish.bsky.social. In 2024, the kind people of this community put the money cannon on blast to help grant $75K in wishes for children in foster care. Toys, tech, a suit for job interviews. Here we go again! 👇
www.onesimplewish.org/giving/megwa...

Elon Musk Could 'Drink Piss Better Than Any Human in History,' Grok Says Grok has been reprogrammed to say Musk is better than everyone at everything, including blowjobs, piss drinking, playing quarterback, conquering Europe, etc.

Incredible headline.

an image of bill clinton with the text "donald trump sucked me off??"

He meant “off plays”

Did it one time and one time only…day after Christmas 2022, in-laws house with my family, sleepytime, nestled into a bunk bed with my then 6 yr old daughter, gradually clenching the mattress harder and harder for 2 hours to prevent Earth escape velocity. Watched “Dune” on my phone.

there was a brief but important period in america when you saved your fanciest suit for the opportunity to be in a studio audience watching videos of people getting whacked in the nuts

QANON CULTIST IN 2017: "In this 1,879 page thread I will unravel the byzantine system of codewords and phrases the global elite use to mask their pedophile cabal."

JEFFREY EPSTEIN WRITING AN EMAIL AT THE SAME TIME: "helo its me jeff had fun cmmitting sex crimes wit u lst weeknd"

STOP GIVING YOUR MONEY TO POLITICIANS, EITHER YOUR PAYIN FOR SOME ONE TO OPRESS YOU OR YOUR PAYIN THEM TO PRETEND LIKE THERE GONNA STOP OPRESSING YOU!!! FEED THE HUNGRY, HOUSE THE UNHOUSED, HELP YOUR FAMILY FREINDS AND NEIGHBORS AS MUCH AS YOU CAN AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN BUT NEVER A DIME TO A FUCKIN POLITICIAN!!!! AND DA TEXT SAYS "NO MONEY FOR POLITICANS, NOT NOW NOT EVER , THERE NEVER GONNA DO WHAT WE WANT, IF I WANTED TO PAY SOMEONE TO LIE TO ME I WOULD GO BACK TO THE PSYCHIC WHO TOLD ME I SOULD STOP EATING DOG FOOD, IT TASTES FINE AND YOU DONT HAVE TO COOK IT MOTHER FUCKER " - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN AND THEY PRINT ON THE BAG HOW MUCH ASH IS IN IT AND THERES NEVER THAT MUCH ASH SO FUCK IT - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN

NOT NOW NOT EVER - dashare.zone ADMIN

second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard

no amount of state propaganda will ever convince me this man is my enemy

Excrement casserole

Wearing my pink pj’s in solidarity with our antagonist tonight

An old Camel ad. Joe Camel is leaning against his car smoking. His henchman Mel Camel is offering me a cigarette. It's clear that they intended only to teach me a lesson, not to hurt me. It's okay that they hit me with their car. Just look at that sunset. God, I feel more alive than I have in years.

Cool photo I took a few seconds after waking up when Joe Camel hit me with his car

Mustachioed dude in Halloween costume that is half Phillies and half Pirates uniform, with a half and half cap that spells out the zero zero score of P 0 - 0 P

Seen at a bar in New Orleans last night by my (Philly) nephew. I hope he bought this dude a drink. #Phillies #Pirates #P00P

re: Glasnow

Hacked email sent out to folks at UPenn today, use of the R word, amongst some other interesting choice words and phrases.

Said email…

as a bird artist, in honor of tonight’s game i have attempted to draw the gorgeous blue jay as accurately as possible. as always please let me know if you have any constructive criticism

Man Wouldn't Have Worn Costume To Work If He'd Known He Was Getting Laid Off

Man Wouldn't Have Worn Costume To Work If He'd Known He Was Getting Laid Off

Shoutout to @babkastreisand.bsky.social for a very cool fundraiser for Philabundance. No spoilers but my cards pretty much said I had the universe totally figured out, which I already knew, of course.

There's a hole in the bottom of the trashcan and he grows underground like a big green ginger root. Jim Henson confided that in me before he died.

CHOTINER: So you asked for a Birkin bag?
KOKO: Yes. Possession Bag.
CHOTINER: And you had the funds to acquire this?
KOKO: No, Professor Purchase Koko Gorilla
CHOTINER: That doesn't sound like the funds were justifiable.
KOKO: Hostility Interviewer

We lived on 17th and Addison a few years back and it was great. 17-1800 block Addison and walk up to 18-2100 blocks of Delancy where the really ritzy folks go all out and have some great decorations.