Jack Stapleton

Season 9 / Episode 22

"Sorry I'm late, everyone.
Somebody tampered with my brakes."

"Then, you should have been early."

it's unbelievable to me that someone could actually be a trillionaire. i think most of us have trouble internalizing how much money that truly is. let me put it in simple terms for you: a trillion dollars is three million dollars

a round pottery piece with pig eyes and a snout

i think we all need to step back and realize that peak art was made when neolithic pot in the shape of a pig was fired

should be allowed to take the day off if it gets to 10am and you're still feeling too sleepy

Frodo: I wish so much unbelievably stupid shit had not happened in my time Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times. This is all exceptionally stupid, though

Screenshot from BBC News live text coverage of Trump press conference: 19:27 This news conference could go on for a very long time (byline: Gary O'Donoghue, Chief North America correspondent at the White House) This is the president in his most enigmatic and expansive mood. During the campaign this used to be called "the weave" – meandering from subject to subject, often the connections not immediately obvious.

going to use "at my most enigmatic and expansive" to describe the next time I have a few too many wines

"Look, I get it, he's mental but what the fuck do you want me to do?"

- Labour +45%

An image of Sisyphus rolling a boulder up a mountain, but the boulder has the Microsoft “Stay signed in?” screen (that never actually does anything) on it

Semester starts next week

The anti-Farage backlash sentiment is a) real and b) not fully priced into most political analysis, in my view

I think it's a bad sign that every major news media outlet has spent days asking whether or not murder is bad and how much child porn is an okay amount

What is just crazy about this, aside from the need for this statement at all, is that Greenland already IS in the US sphere of influence. It's far cheaper for the US, in material, security, and reputational terms, to have Denmark continue administering Greenland and work within NATO on security.

“Honestly I expected Christmas TV to be better this year. They’ve dropped the ball.” - superimposed on King Charles

Unexpected message this year.

In many respects it has been a pretty bleak year both domestically and globally, but that makes it all the more important to share some of the things that make us laugh. So here is a random selection of humour (not just from this year) of various sorts that I could watch again and again.

Even by my low expectations for Kemi Badenoch ‘violence against women and girls is something done by immigrants and nobody else’ has shocked me.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and a duck that does crimes

Just because you are unable to imagine how someone else’s mind works does not mean that person’s mind does not work like that

Free speechwriting tip for the PM: www.newstatesman.com/politics/uk-...

Streeting orders review into mental health and ADHD diagnosis The health secretary said the aim was to tackle a rising demand for services and the increased pressure on the NHS.

Hey Wes, I can save you the trouble. The reason a lot of people are struggling with their mental health in the UK is it fucking sucks here. Aside from usual late-stage capitalism stuff, everything that could be cool about living here has been systematically made worse by people like you, you cunt.

This isn't a complaint, but it's weird how there is *this* Britain existing in parallel with *that* Britain. Our papers, our news media, is fucking trash. A picture of a small, grey, mean country that is only capable of hate. Then you watch, like, regular TV, or meet regular people, and it's...fine?

Political commentary has a bias towards agency: toward an idea that the 2024 general election is primarily about “things British politicians did” rather than “the invasion of Ukraine”.

Your Party running a sortition exercise for their founding conference then purging nearly 10% of those selected to attend isn't doing anything to dispell the notion that they're less a political party and more a performance art piece meant to mock the entire concept of left-wing organising

The "don't have an extra kid if you can't afford it" brigade get awfully upset when you suggest they don't stay in their £2m house if they can't afford it, don't they?

After you help your boss convert a doc to PDF

Hey the Nazis did this to my grandparents so this sounds cool @teamlabouruk.bsky.social

Labour’s latest attack on asylum seekers is cruel & counterproductive. How does it help community cohesion to hold threat of deportation over vulnerable people? We don’t need an arms race with the hard right over asylum, we need safe routes & European cooperation #bbclaurak

if you're being pedantic about the definition of pedophilia I'm assuming you are a pedophile

The legendary cat meme that started an era

The difference in time between now and I can has cheezburger

Is the same between I can has Cheezburger and the Berlin Wall falling