Thar Barr Superstar

Single? Why not have kippers every morning, nobody to complain about the smell

Dropped some blueberries into my tea, instead of my yoghurt

There is a link between the decline of questions about wedding anniversary names in table quizzes and the young people preferring to enter into a 'throuple' rather than plight their troth

That Harriet Walter/Sharon Osbourne wan seems to be coaching every pair in this figure skating competition?

Love the Minions, hate bastards

I suppose our friends in that thing of theirs are making a few bob off the Winter Olympics. The ski jumping ramp will collapse and be found to have been constructed out of MDF and barrels with the skull and crossbones on them

You won't have the Sween Dawg to kick around any more

He'll be hoping to bump into a ganger in the pub tonight and get the start in the morning

Spent fifteen minutes looking for this, when I should have been attending to quotidian chores

Wish SuperValu didn't flag up the packs of Skittles I've bought on their self-service checkout display as '3 FOR 5 IMPULS BUY'

'Your hands' easily has to be in the top 2 of 'things to wash your face with'

Few things better than singing 'All the Gold in California'out loud

Starved for music on TV so watching 'Eric Clapton at Montreaux' which takes me back to being ten years old in the summer and being sunburned to fuck and the 'New Morning Jazz Blues Festival' coming on RTÉ2 and the elongated jams making me feel more in want of water than at any other point in my life

We're watching Match of the Day, and she goes in response to Burnley being booed off "they're not happy with Scott Walker" and immediately say her mistake so I started singing 'The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Any More'.

We have to keep ourselves entertained

My secret dream!

Wouldn't trust myself to be lifted by a good aul' terrier

The Americans win, by dint of being visibly horny for each other

This American has the right idea with leggings, instead of the low denier tights

That must really smart!

Watching the Free Dance, how do these graceful gals not get the knees scraped off themselves?

*in my most Donegal voice* Charlie Utter was wil' good to Jane, so he was

Will you get a Deputy's badge?

Would love to hiss "your life is now forfeit" at someone

First they criminalised the van/lorry drivers by making them wear high-visibility tabards

A clear-the-freezer dinner tonight

You didn't have to grow up hearing that used on local radio to advertise Frankie's Niteclub of Raphoe (as mentioned in the Morris Tribunal)

What a shame Mandelson has developed such a kindly face

[John Virgo sotto voce]
One of the most shameful things l've ever seen here at the Crucible

George is such a bitch in SMILEY'S PEOPLE