Hoagie Slut

(bulma holding baby trunks over her head): oh guess who's power level is SOOO big!

there is something rattling on my desk and I cannot figure out what it is. this is my villain origin story

I’ve eaten six Taco Bell tacos in a sitting and been fine but I eat chicken strips and fries and I’m dying????

Why does Wendy’s go through me like Taco Bell goes through other white people

Oh you don’t want to make plans to see me??? :(((((

Oh you don’t want to make plans to see me??? :)))))

Sad and happy bus meme

Being in a situationship with no commitment

Gotta have a fruity treat

Yall ever have that moment where you can feel the energy just leaving your body all at once and everything hurts and it physically hurts to breathe and it hurts to lie in bed and it all happens within 10 seconds

Is that low iron

I’m going to buy just those things no more no less

Cucumber pepper sour cream pomegranate

Btw my knee hurt because it’s cold out and I’m old, it doesn’t normally hurt

Excess weight can absolutely be a cause of joint pain and it should be addressed and alleviated either through meds or therapy!! But in my case it’s just because global warming isn’t real

SIL is gonna get a big bottle of Tylenol in her stocking this year, my nibling is going to be ND whether the government likes it or not

And of course instead of “this is an issue that we should try to fix” it was “it’s your fault for buying such a small car”

A real conversation I had with a coworker

Me : I love my beetle because it’s so small but I hate that I’ll be the one to die if some big ass truck or SUV hits me

Coworker : that’s why I have a big SUV, so I won’t be the one to die

Me : right you’ll just kill me instead

Coworker : … yes

I am once again in such a foul mood

Britney Spears in an old interview saying “everyone has been doing emails”

Did Underage Girls Ruin Politics?

Tomorrow in the @nytimes.com

Someone drive the wrong way down a divided part of the highway to get around the traffic to get to fucking Walmart

Me : *sitting in traffic*

Some dumbasses behind me : *speeding down the turning lane*

Me : idk that seems like a bad idea

Literally as I was thinking it someone got rear ended in the turning lane

Accidentally manifested someone else’s fender bender sorry everyone

As an obese person, I wouldn’t be able to go to the gym tonight if I didn’t take ibuprofen because my knee hurt and now it doesn’t

I know the answer to “do you just want me to die, JD?” Is yes but like,,, damn dude lma

The way I noticed the wrong your right as I hit post

You ever get through a period of unbearable limerence and life is normal again and your just like

Wow

I miss being mentally ill

Omg OMG I WAS JUST READING THE EMERGENCY ALERT EARLIER

Screenshot of a tv show, man standing at a locker in a locker room

Zoom in on a piece of paper with CARLY scrawled in children’s handwriting

watching SVU and why is my name written inside a prison guard’s locker 😂

When people diverge from innate behaviors

It’s some meat on the grill

Now… what you should know in the face of all of this is….

A man who is historically known to not stop talking…

Hasn’t said a word

Autism and a very small range of safe foods wins again 😎

My grandfather built that porch swing and the new owners (a family with kids!!!!) kept the swing 😭😭😭😭😭😭

A porch swing woth the back slats in the shape of 2 hearts

Do we think I could turn this into a tattoo