Macco

I used to work with a bloke who spoke English as a second language and my favourite saying of his was that something would be “a piece of doddle.” I still say it to this day and I wonder if anyone hearing me saying it thinks that I think that’s the proper saying.

Belle and Sebastian are currently arranging an emergency recording session.

I love accomplishing nothing. No goals, no side hustle, just another day of doing absolutely fuck all.

I’m not sure I’d ever be allowed to leave my house again if they did.

He was the absolute best of us 💔

Oh I didn’t mean it as a rebuke! I read it as a homage because it’s not exactly the same.

My favourite Mitch Hedberg joke.

Grandpa Simpson meme with the headline “old man yells at clover.”

Ah yes, the age-old conundrum.

What can I say, we can’t all be fortunate enough to live on the Sunshine Coast

Headline in the BBC website saying “Aberdeen finally sees sunshine after 21 days of gloom.”

Not to boast or anything, but I saw a patch of dry pavement today

It’s so up my street it’s practically knocking on my door. Absolutely amazing.

This is a tremendous image.

Maybe they already do and his name is actually Mursés.

How can we even trust someone who doesn’t wear a hat in these temperatures? That’s it, I’m voting for the ones who shoot you in the face.

Please refresh the timeline to where I left it, so I don’t have to scroll backwards for days to find out where I was.

That’s settled it - I’m taking Dundee.

Please refresh the timeline to where I left it, so I don’t have to scroll backwards for days to find out where I was.

“This message will self-tweet to X in 5 seconds.”

Tripping the waiter up by accident, menu stuck to his paw with marmalade, his hat ends up in someone’s soup. Muttering under your breath, “for fuck’s sake, Paddy, can’t we have ONE normal night out?”

I still can’t believe they ditched probably the best wicket keeper in the world because he didn’t bat recklessly enough and wasn’t in the clique.

Oh, I never knew this, thank you!

“England will score 600 and not have to bat again.” Aye, cheers Swanny, whatever you say.

Please don’t remind me that Athers and Nasser exist when I have to put up with Graeme Fucking Swann

Look, I’ve told you a million times, I did it once by mistake because I was distracted. I always wash them and I always put them away.

“Had to touch the bread, Jerry.”

How I read this exchange in my head.

I’ve been thrown under the bus by Aberdeen. Nothing to do with the fact I failed a trial when I was nine.

Ned Flanders contacting his lawyers.

Craig Levein looking less than delighted.

I was in the Co-op about an hour ago and they were playing Tonight Tonight by the Smashing Pumpkins, which made me think that they just allow the Saturday boy to bring his own CDs in.