Evan Zasoski

So, Google's just deliberately kneecapped their spam filters to try and get you to upgrade to their AI premium service, right?

The strike *is* explaining your worth. You explain your worth by displaying the effects of your absence.

Or, and hear me out on this, demand better pay and conditions while withholding your labor as a bargaining tactic. It’s just crazy enough to work.

Mr. Zsasz feels on brand for the franchise, but I'm holding out hope for The Ventriloquist.

I like election nights where I don’t want to fucking die.

You took the blue from Alabama and left it in Virginia. Gonna need you to move to Mississippi and then North Carolina in quick succession.

Normal People Don’t Want This Shit is running away with the vote tonight

I’d like more mustard on that bit back and to the left.

I saved a YouTube explainer about it but have not had the heart to actually watch it yet.

I will not abide this pecan pie and collard greens slander, but if you try to feed me a whole beet on Thanksgiving, I cannot be held responsible for what I might do.

“Republicans meddling ruined my state’s flagship college sports program” is not the worst midterm messaging I ever heard.

abigailspanberger.com is the right choice for Virginia’s next governor.

Fucking loved the Bandits. RIP

The fact that Athena doesn't appear to support executing more than one query in a run is just bizarre. Let me drop and create a table without clicking "Run" twice, guy.

“It’s only fair,” they’ll say.

Pictured: the author.

Halloween is a ritualized performance of abundance, redistribution, and communal identity formation practiced by neighborly love. It’s also about skeletons.

The Scouring of the Shire was good, actually, because it increased potential war output.

Literally every sentence of this story is better if you imagine it's being read by Kent Brockman
www1.wbrz.com/news/disease...

People should know at this point to just get up and leave if that happens. It literally won’t be worse than what’s coming.

The previews can just be a scene of that time he pulled over a school bus because he wanted a hug.

The Cassandra of shitposting.

Early draft for “Talk to Me.”

Republicans Who Have Rarely Opposed Trump Raise Questions About His Drug War

If Senate Republicans grow concerned enough, they will begin to vibrate on a resonant frequency, becoming one transcendent being of pure Concern, able to write an infinite number of strongly worded letters simultaneously.

www.nytimes.com/2025/10/24/u...

The number of apolitical normies from high school posting how much they hate Trump gives me hope.

Every two bit con who’s not worth pardoning should be fucking *terrified*.

a cartoon of homer simpson holding a white hat with the words whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo Alt: Homer riding a bomb.

Just realizing I misread your phrasing and my joke doesn’t entirely make sense, but I’m sticking with it!

“Your mom and I think it’s time for a talk about the normal line.”

“We are going to investigate all of this,” should be on every Democrat’s lips.