Crustfundbabies

This is who runs this account

If you see this, post a bad woman you love

I also love this one more than words can say

And this one too

Reskeet with a tweet you still think about

Smokey Bear: only you can prevent forest fires

Me, as a child: i gotchu homie

Normalize proposing to Edgar Allan Poe during a seance.

The man convicted of 34 felonies is trying to educate us about crime? Did we get that right?

Goodnight footlong sandwich, goodnight moon, goodnight Epstein Files in the White House panic room 🌙✨

DAY 30 of photoshopping Chucky into another movie until I forget...

Sometimes you can leave work early if there is a pie cooling on a windowsill nearby that carries you away. More companies are recognising this and bringing it in as paid leave

Classic scientific method:

If you don't like the results of research, delete the research.

I can never tell what level of freaked out I need to be for anything anymore.

russian has words for "day before yesterday" and "day after tomorrow" and i love that

Reclaiming the 12-hour-old coffee in the carafe as cold brew because I’m that resourceful

If you see this, post a bad woman you love

Hate it when my whimsy and charm anger many of the gods and I have to lay low for awhile

Post one of the most haunting shots in movie history from a film made before the year 2000

The officer who was struck by the sandwich is in stable condition. The assailant escaped on foot because the other officers simultaneously lunged at the sandwich on the ground, bumping heads and knocking each other out cold

guys it’s really not funny that the fbi agent took a footlong to the chest. stop laughing. it’s NOT FUNNY that an fbi agent in head to toe tactical gear tried to chase the guy who hucked a sandwich straight at his bulletproof vest but couldn’t outrun him

Two people standing on a bridge ramp, wearing traffic cones, and butting each other.

One day, your unicorn will appear and your life will never be the same.

Or this.

BOSS: Don't just stand there.

ME: Bust a move?

BOSS: What?

ME: Nothing. I'll go make some copies or something.

A freshly painted orange zebra crossing on a road. Orange pawprints (as though from a cat or small dog) veer off to the left for a while before heading back to the line

Out for a stroll with my spirit animal

A kid named Big Balls got beat up by some teens and now the President is declaring martial law

Hypothetically, how do you "unsummon" (for lack of a better word) a demon?

If a comic book page focuses on a long back and forth conversation, it's commonly referred to as a "talking heads" page, EVEN THOUGH, VERY RARELY, do any of the characters discuss finding themselves A) living in a shotgun shack, B) in another part of the world, C) behind the wheel of a large automo

never underestimate the power of positive thinking, and also never underestimate the power of waving a tire iron around

Self care is cancelled. I’m drinking corn liquor and listening to Rage Against the Machine

Interviewer: What are you looking for in a job?

Me: A 3-minute montage where I end up rich