Marjorie James Keenan

If being funny on the internet was easy, everyone would do it.

a manicured finger points to the 2025 Audi SQ6 e-tron climate control menu option to "cool feet" showing a foot stepping on a blade, wesley snipes gonna be pissed

couldn't help noticing from across the room, let me just say

*emphasizes the p in hampster

*pulls oneself up by their own ground floor opportunity

the experience of a movie tie-in toy purchased during an visit to a sit-down pizza hut as a kid would fix me

*slaps hood of tibanna gas mining colony floating in the clouds

"Whataya say? Take her for a Bespin?"

Sorry, I’ll never be ready to rumble. Go ahead and rumble without me

lying and fucking shit up is just about all the fun I have these days, why would I deprive myself that joy?

When I get that feeling, it's popcorn ceiling. Popcorn ceiling. Babe?

maggie gyllenhaal
jake jorkinfoyer

What if cows are actually trying to say "moon" but they can't make the "n" sound 🥺

*watching people's faces and taking notes at the bake sale

we got penguin boobs at home

tiny arcade with galaga, street fighter and burgertime full sized arcade games

hmmmmm.... good question

Fantasy Friendball

Ashton lookin puffy as shid

Oasis reuniting is still no excuse for all these bucket hats.

there is so much negativity in the world and i ain’t fucken adding to it ✌️

Being an airline pilot is like being both a cool bus driver and a lame astronaut.

I can't imagine having enough money to travel anywhere in the world and then choosing to go to Dubai

are you thrusting your squats? you gotta really thrust em

🗒️✍️

super kickass job geist!

the thing about "former gifted kid" discourse is that some of us never stopped being gifted and talented and better than everyone else so it's hard to deal with all of these burnt-out losers trying to cling to our coattails of success talking about how hard their lives are for being worse than us.

Breaking character: I stan for Sesame Street and The Electric Company. Go back and watch, they are witty, educational, and just plan good tv.

Everything was beautiful and hurt.

Fighting fire with fire may work some of the time, but fighting mediocre men with mediocre men never will.

I bet the Spam™ on Arrakis hits different

🎶I saw the sign, but didn't understand the language, I saw the sign

My nun with a guitar avatar standing in front of the rear fender of a brown Chevrolet Chevette

Ridin' in my Chevy Chevette with Pantera in the tape deck
it's gon' be domination, pushed into living hell