Tusk Jenkins

Original Dumbo book with the name edited to say FUCKFACE

😿

Dumbo is such a mean name for a bb elephant, it’s the 1940s version of fuckface

have you tried swaddling about it

Small-timey neighbourhood diner with bottomless coffee & all-day breakfast would fix me.

MY BULLY (age 9): Here he comes, the guy with the worst comebacks on the planet.

ME: Shut it Trevor. Your mom’s an amazing swimmer.

never underestimate the power of positive thinking, and also never underestimate the power of waving a tire iron around

lumbar support? only in the books i read while hunched over like a slug

just tried to repost a Teams message i liked

Everybody hurts, except for Susan, who refuses to come out of the chrysalis she commissioned from that weird guy at the iron works studio.

Instead of building a printer that works I think the industry should double down and make one that explodes every time there's a paper jam

[seeing that my wife has started buying cauliflower again] looks like it's time for another diss track

Spooky mist-filled forest

While you are all out working for the man, I'm over here in these spooky woods fighting off eldritch horrors for humanity. You're welcome! (or not depending on where you stand on that age old battle)

My favorite thing is when you see a commercial or a show or a movie that's been cut for time or content so much that it no longer makes sense at all like oh look at that compromise or fed up editor

Just got home from a road trip with a good friend who did not say "cow" when there was a cow and I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that he has no soul

French Bulldog in a pair of green briefs, butt in front of the camera.

OH MY GOD BECKY

Morning baby and mom

Turkey baby running through the yard to catch up with its mother

Mama turkey, strutting through the yard

wait up, Ma!

(putting pants on the baby because I'm cold)

Whoever first said, "No good deed goes unpunished," must have fed some seagulls.

Gramps died with his Boots Randolph album on. Ironic? Meh.

“I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee. Clouds in my coffee!” I repeat, suspecting my therapist is not even listening.

Your baby is so cute! (for an eldritch horror)

Are you ready to look at stains in a new way? Like and subscribe to learn how to manifest your very own stains!

Now, keep monkeying around and you'll fall. Then Nana will cry. Do you want Nana to cry?

Lovey:

(nods head)

First and last day on the job as southern baptist association intimacy coordinator

Put the seat down on that singing bowl.

Dreams are realized when the frequencies of blue and red align to make a harmony worthy of a noble rainfall. Too many missions have been failed and we'll have to watch the men perish once again

The cleaner at my work just told everyone to save toilet roll tubes for her curtains so I said COTTON BALLS and i'm the one getting the weird looks right now?

Not to get all political on here, but instead of calling a group of soldiers on horseback a cavalry they should've called them the 'neighvy'.

Auto correct changed doggy kisses to soggy kisses so I told it fuck you I hope you die because ew yuck I hate those