Tusk Jenkins

Two opossums are posing with a small, felt Christmas tree decoration outdoors. Instagram: itsmesesame

Two opossums are peeking out of a felt Christmas tree decoration on an outdoor wooden deck. Instagram: itsmesesame

19 days until Christmas 🎄

I’m going to need one of you to grow to an enormous size.

Everything is enquirer now

"Black jellybeans and yellow starburst are practical jokes concocted by Big Confectionery and I, for one, am not buying it."

So I have a tortex pick that somehow fell into my shoe. A mystery how it got there, but I never took it out. Serious, a little zen thing walking with this pair of shoes. I notice.

But if you pull out an axe an say, "I'd let you play but I don't have a pic." Left shoelace, getting untied.

YouTube video by DD DD Poster Children - Junior Citizen

A little punk-pop track atcha. There is some debate, sure. To when the line, "Kenneth what's the frequency" first entered the musical lexicon. But, this track was the first I heard it.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjRa...

had an accidental nap and woke up during my nap and decided to keep napping because fuck this heat

i like black licorice but despise black jellybeans 🤔

The jeep dashboard it would take for that omg

An obscenely muscled yellow rubber duck, proudly displaying his sculpted rear end to the camera, in an effort to entice buyers.

“But why, Lord?”

who up feeding their mogwai after midnight

Looking forward to Netbros.

a light bulb is hanging from the ceiling and is turned on Alt: a light bulb is hanging from the ceiling and is turned on until a lady shatters it with her MIND banger material

I'm sure you are

I won't tell anyone when it is my destiny to deliver lampshades by parachute but there will be a precise guidance system to land them on heads of those found to be out of control party guests at heart

sorry I drank all your wine, in my defense it was really bad

do gendered languages have gender reveal parties for new words

when they know you so well they know the thing that will hurt you more deeply than anything else and they do exactly that thing… it hurts like motherfucking hell, no getting around it

but sweet angel, you’re still here
you survived the worst pain you’ve ever experienced

get up and go kick ass ❤️‍🩹

Him: I just want ONE pizza

Me: [orders four wood fire pizzas, two rosemary focaccia bread and a Caesar salad with chicken]

What did the farmer get when he stepped on a rake? Two acres.

It was rough work being a working rattlesnake actor in the 70s and 80s. Sure, you got a lot of gigs, but the directors always had the human actors slam the cloche back down over you with a certain lack of care.

I'm gonna need Clarissa to explain this.

Where even the stars won’t miss me.

2025 and no “the ropers” reboot smh

0 A picture of my dog with her nose and her butt while she's sleeping.0

Looks like infinity to me.

Stray particles and other peccadillos.

YouTube video by PJHARV1 Janis Ian - At Seventeen (Live, 1976)

Give her five minutes and Janis Ian will rip your heart out.

youtu.be/VMUz2TNMvL0?...

(at 13% battery) I’m fuckin rich

I don't think I've been wearing enough lamé.

Found a faded five dollar bill in the pocket of my jeans so yes I'm guilty of money laundering.

took the garbage disposal off and put my mouth up to the sink hole to get extra food