JULIUS SIEZURE

Does it want anything? It probably doesn't have a brain. It's like a clam or a jellyfish. No brain, no problem.

I hate it when people come to my home state on vacation and don't even speak Maijna

Air compressor water dragons

My computer is on the ceiling, because I am a hero and a genius.

LOTR meme: Legolas: that is a Volvo sedan, unless my eyes are cheated by some spell. Fandalf: the 200 series is the lord of all Volvos, and has been my friend through many dangers

It's popularity should never have been allowed to persist into the Spotify era

rainger zone

highway to the grainger zone. gonna take you right into the g

‘bridge’ is short for rebrigerator

sorry but i am categorically more intelligent than anyone who relies on chatgpt for anything at all

My first job was milking cows and a couple times someone showed up and asked the farmer if they could buy raw milk. He was absolutely baffled as to why they would want that.

the moe throwing barney out of the bar meme but instead of moe it's a chicken and instead of barney it's an egg

not sure if this helps but i thought of a meme for chickens

Oh yeah this movie sucks ass. They stop the volcano because a black guy forgives the LAPD and helps him lift a jersey barrier. It also pulls the classic bad movie move of giving the kid an even smaller kid to save, to make you care about her. (see also Deep Impact)

That movie rules. It's just a bunch of looney tunes bullshit and the plot doesn't matter at all

You can do waterfowl dance?

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Rip to everyone who died before chips were invented you would have loved chips

akira toriyama pulling out of his ass one day that goku is an alien named carrot from the planet vegetable

Bart, with a broken leg, reads Lisa the play he's been working on while being isolated and weird. "Is it St. Swithin's Day Already?" "'Tis, replied AUNT Helga..." Here's an article on St. Swithen's Day: https://www.bbc.com/newsround/48991574

It's St Swithins Day, so it would be remiss of me not to post this.

9/11

That place rules. Great place to stock up on spices and they got that good Pakistani sunscreen

Gangsters Of Capitalism is a good book about Smedley Butler

I work in manufacturing in New York and I mostly only hate on the laptop class when they dress like carpenters. Gatekeeping workwear is stupid and everything, but when I see people dressed just like me who clearly email for a living, I judge them. They could wear anything! Why dress up as me?

The hypodemic inclined plane

New Evidence Suggests Ancient Egyptians Only Ever Visited Pyramids When Friends Were In From Out Of Town

New Evidence Suggests Ancient Egyptians Only Ever Visited Pyramids When Friends Were In From Out Of Town theonion.com/new-evi...

I thought I was the only one

Give me an example

A bottle of drain cleaner called Clobber. It has a white label with black and red text describing how dangerous it is.

Most places will only sell this stuff to licensed plumbers. I don't think that's a legal mandate, they just know how scary it is.

Usually weird brand names indicate poor quality unless it's auto or kitchen chemicals. There'll be a degreaser called like "Professor Kleen" and it should be illegal to produce and it's the only way to clean a commercial oven and you have to physically leave the room after you use it or you'll die

Tip for anyone who wasn't around for the Iraq War derangement: If someone tries to trap you with a "Do you support the troops?" you can just say "no" and watch smoke shoot out of their ears.