they made an offscreen TikTok husband you can buy

trying to understand the mind of the american voter is like peering into a cursed grimoire that destroys your sanity

Why would I want to see that

Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah

Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen

Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah

Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him

Screenshot from Columbo. He his talking to his dog, which is sitting is the drivers seat of a car. “Okay, I’m gonna put you in charge. You take care of the car. You’re a responsible dog. When I get back, if the car’s okay, I’ll give you another cookie.”

“If the car’s gone,”

“I’ll give you another cookie anyway”

“because I love you.”

Happy Columbo’s Day

i was going to say that im too hinged for this but I actually have one: most introductions to works of fiction should be afterwords!!! don't talk about the shit that happens in the book, I haven't read it yet!!

Every October I watch a lot of baseball and get really obsessed about one new-to-me handsome guy, and this year's fella is Sal Frelick #gobrewers

confident that if they could, cats would smoke cigarettes

A grim reaper decoration at a grocery store throws his hands up in frustration

Grim Reaper at the grocery store with real “I don’t know, what the hell am I supposed to do about it” hands

I know people are getting dumber because I can answer more questions on Jeopardy now.

Funniest possible person to say nothing bad happened when he was a kid as a result of everyone having guns

Excerpts from Ron DeSantis’ Spotify playlist “Hodge podge mix,” including: Ring of Fire Piano Man Life is a Highway Take on Me Party in the USA

Ron DeSantis has the music taste of a Dreamworks movie about a guinea pig who becomes a pop star

Stacey’s mom is in assisted living now. Get your shit together

Klana's AI replaced 700 workers - Now the fintech CEO wants human back after $40B fall Klarna CEO Sebastian Siemiatkowski admitted the company's AI heavy approach to custmer service went too far, leading to a drop in quality. The fintech firm is now rehiring human agents through a remove, on-demand model, while continuing to integrate AI across operations.

Don't even need luddites when the product is this shit

Like cicadas emerging every 13 to 17 years, every 2 or 3 years or so Silicon Valley emerges to reinvent the bus.

*Twin Peaks theme*

I'm one (1) six-digit verification code away from a straight jacket

[civil War] Gay Sex In Camp, Soldier's Letter Auction Autograph letter signed by John T. Greene to James Harris. Camp DuPont, 14 January 1862. 2 pages, 4to. A soldier's letter with remarkable and explicit c{ellipsis}

Does your museum or archive collect documents related to Civil War sexuality? Allow me to point you toward this letter from a soldier in the 1st Rhode Island Light Artillery (1862), being auctioned this month.

"arse hole is better then no hole"

www.liveauctioneers.com/item/2025930...

Wikipedia has source links and captures all of the page edits and discussion of said edits — “AI”does not. It is designed to obfuscate its limitations and is a catalyst for misinformation. I help so many library patrons who assume it is infallible.

when they reboot Mean Girls they should hire the Italian actor who played the vaping cardinal in Conclave and just cast him as one of the popular girls, never address it, just let the film happen from there

i remember in the 90s when they dismantled welfare by claiming this was happening except they wouldnt use white babies for the photo

Gonna be real with you, this feels like an advertisement for spiritual death

I'm the white lady on vacation trying to fit in like
"𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒆 𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒂 𝒆𝒍 lazy river?"

Slow down drivers with this one weird trick: Make them terrified of scratching their cars.

The Doors’ music is really bad but when you consider that it’s all fake stuff written for a Val Kilmer movie it’s more forgivable

mlb: we will never forget what jackie robinson did and what he endured

me: wow what specifically did he do and endure?

mlb: lol dont worry about it lmao

1st & 2nd Round Grouping MASTERS TOURNAMENT DUSTIN JOHNSON NICK TAYLOR JUSTIN HASTINGS (A)

golf wants me to believe these are three different guys

Fox News dumbass touting “Trump’s manly tariffs”

THEY’RE GENDERING THE TARIFFS

So much of this would be funny if it was funny.