DEXI's Midnight Runner

wtf?!

I had one person send me "friendly reminders" that I owe them responses to emails they sent on 9/29.

I am ignoring the meeting invitation from management for a pizza party next week.

The specials menu as a "story" aggravates me to no end.

Bough. Cough. Dough. Enough. Hiccough. Lough. Through.

English is the worst.

OMB's current position is that GEFTA does not guarantee backpay to furloughed employees. In fact, language stating non-excepted employees would receive backpay under GEFTA was omitted from the second round of furlough notices.

They got guaranteed, immediate backpay for all federal employees.

The official Administration position is that the 2019 law only applied to the 2018-2019 shutdown, not to any future shutdowns. OMB/OPM have no intention of paying non-excepted furloughed employees under current law.

I need a gif of the earlier play where he slid down the pile and plopped onto the turf on his butt.

Beat me to it!

Image of an illustration from The Lorax of the Lorax standing on a tree stump and speaking for the trees.

We don't kink-shame, Gabe.

(Not even going to bother with the cost of the water or energy to cook the sauce.)

So you've saved less than $0.70 and increased the amount of work you have to do.

And you didn't even get that gross yet satisfying slurp-jiggle as it slid from the can onto the plate.

The logic behind it is that the 12 oz bag of fresh cranberries ($1.42) is less expensive than the 14 oz can of Ocean Spray jellied sauce ($2.47). You've saved $1.05! But...you don't have an edible sauce yet. For the simplest and cheapest recipe, you need $0.35 of sugar and 15 minutes of your time.

Then there's the dummy leaning in the driver's window, ass stuck out blocking the other lane.

My favorite thing about this whole folderol is that last year's list had a can of Ocean Spray jellied cranberry sauce, and this year's list has fresh cranberries. These are not interchangeable items.

Oh, I've been assured that all we have to do is walk into the nearest retail store or fast food joint and they will fall all over themselves to give us jobs.

Even that's incorrect. Results in the presidential race were 63/34, but registrations for the 2024 general election break down to roughly 52/24/24.

I saw someone say yesterday that MD is obviously heavily gerrymandered because the state is split 65-35 but only has 1 R district. Where do you even start?

Tariffland is gonna be a stinky place.

Each year I play a little game in my head, wondering when my mother will remember my birthday. I just realized that game is over. It's weird to mourn dysfunction, but grief is weird. And messy. And you grieve for what was, what wasn't, and what was wished for in diverse measures.

I laughed.

Then I realized I will have this earworm for days.

Well, well, well.

That fountain was so playful, a little oasis for the imagination. It's a gut-punch every time I walk across the bland plaza that is McKeldin Square.

Two of my besties are Sox fans and another is a Jays fan. We were watching together when Papi said it in the 2017 ALCS and couldn't stop laughing. It's never not funny, but ARod nearing spontaneous combustion takes it to another level.

Thomas Cole's "View from Mount Holyoke, Northampton, Massachusetts, after a Thunderstorm" (aka "The Oxbow")

When I turned a corner and saw it, I gasped. It stirs a lot of emotions for me. If I lived in NYC, I would go to the Met some days just to stare at that one painting.

Harford County, yes.

One Monday afternoon around 3:30, I watched the only employees in the joint get into a screaming match that ended up with the server throwing things at the cook and the cook ordering the server to "Take your bitch ass the fuck home!" And she did.

I assumed it was probably a beverage-induced moment. And, hey, at least you didn't say the Civil War ended in 1869.

Eh. The war started in '75. We were shacking up with Independence 250 years ago, we just waited a year to do the paperwork.

And, yes, DOD and DoEd are supposed to be developing a curriculum for schools.

You're a year early! It's next year. Baltimore is getting tall ships and the Blue Angels.

www.sail250.org

www.whitehouse.gov/america250/

This was the cover we had in school! It's very strange to see the whitespace. I didn't tag mine, but I left it unattended one day and a friend added artwork on my behalf.

If one of my childhood fears had to become a real threat, I would have preferred quicksand.