Arielle Lalande

I was on Stanchies duty for last night’s #Canucks game! If you want context for this, I guess you’re going to have to read 👀

Thank for this, I just genuinely honked out loud

The Stanchies: Red-hot Pittsburgh Penguins top Canucks 3-2 Well, this game was a great time, until the dying seconds put a damper on things. If you thought you were getting a laid-back Sunday matinee between the Canucks and the Pittsburgh Penguins, you were likely caught off guard by the levels of absurdity displayed. This game had EVERYTHING: More homecoming narratives than a Marvel…

The Stanchies: Red-hot Pittsburgh Penguins top Canucks 3-2

firing a team's longtime head coach but keeping the longtime general manager

While the #Canucks are hot in the headlines, here’s my latest trying to make sense of a team with a lot of potential and not much to show for it right now.

3 Canucks Stars of the Week: Kevin Lankinen’s sharp saves not enough to carry Canucks to a win Welcome back to Stars of the Week at CanucksArmy! Every week, we’ll be bringing you our Top Three best and brightest performers on the Vancouver Canucks that week. Disagree with our picks or have your own stars to nominate? Let us know in the comments below!   At this stage in the Canucks rebuild, two…

3 Canucks Stars of the Week: Kevin Lankinen’s sharp saves not enough to carry Canucks to a win

Just a ridiculously good actor with an equally good resume

Canucks vs Sens tonight. Very stoppable force meets extremely movable object.

My thoughts on the #Canucks this week: bad, they’re doing bad.

3 Canucks Stars of the Week: Liam Öhgren and other young players leading the charge Welcome back to Stars of the Week at CanucksArmy! Every week, we’ll be bringing you our Top Three best and brightest performers on the Vancouver Canucks that week. Disagree with our picks or have your own stars to nominate? Let us know in the comments below!   There are no stars in a week where…

3 Canucks Stars of the Week: Liam Öhgren and other young players leading the charge

It is murder, plainly, and on video, and they'll look you in the eyes and describe a completely different reality. Pure delusion. Not to be overly dramatic, but it really feels like something's happened where our realities have entirely diverged. I have nothing in common with these people

CRA in blind panic after someone completes tax return in January OTTAWA - The Canadian Revenue Agency is reportedly in a state of total meltdown after receiving a complete tax report in the first few weeks of the new year.

CRA in blind panic after someone completes tax return in January

Linus Karlsson is a feel-good story in a never ending carousel of feel-bad stories. My latest on the #Canucks ⬇️

3 Canucks Stars of the Week: Linus Karlsson’s three-point week leads the charge into 2026 Welcome back to Stars of the Week at CanucksArmy! Every week, we’ll be bringing you our Top Three best and brightest performers on the Vancouver Canucks that week. Disagree with our picks or have your own stars to nominate? Let us know in the comments below!   Welcome to 2026! It’s a new calendar year,…

3 Canucks Stars of the Week: Linus Karlsson’s three-point week leads the charge into 2026

Short King (5ft10in) Quinn Hughes

The Grinch, Nickelback, the Victoire collectively moving like the evil Energizer Bunny, and distinct kicking motions. The Vancouver Goldeneyes could not catch a break.

The Goldies is out now! Thank you Lachlan for tapping me in to cover today!

The Goldies: #Goldeneyes drop holiday home game 4-2 to Victoire
Written by @ellycelly.bsky.social, who graciously stepped in the last minute and did a fantastic job!!
lachinthecrease.subs...

We’ll see if I get the call up again this season!

Thank you!!

My Stanchies debut for this #Canucks  season was a win…I didn’t know they could do that. Give it a read, click all the links, click all the ads!

The Stanchies: Youth carries Canucks in weekend win vs. Wild It’s always fun when we’ve got a Hockey Night in Canada matchup on our hands… Right? It was fun. Even while the Vancouver Canucks were staring down the barrel of the second game of a back-to-back against a surging top-10 Minnesota Wild team, it was fun. Then came the news that Elias Pettersson left warmups…

The Stanchies: Youth carries Canucks in weekend win vs. Wild

offsidenewsco.com

Happy to be back covering the Canucks and being very silly about it along the way!

Here’s an out of context excerpt from my first column back:

Vancouver Canucks forward #44, Kiefer Sherwood, pictured helmetless during team warmups. Text reads "Canucks Column. Hey, What's Going On? OffsideNewsCo.Com"

"The #Canucks can officially say they had someone on the roster this year who is younger than the Nintendo Wii, and I am sure that makes us all feel really cool and normal about our lives."

Read the first Canucks Column of the season from @ellycelly.bsky.social here: buff.ly/N4DGlT0

…that garlic dipping sauce does slap though. my latest very serious piece for the beaverton is live ⬇️

Patriotic Canadians resigned to consuming Pizza Pizza BARRIE – In the face of the Trump administration’s trade war, everyday Canadians have been taking drastic measures to support the Canadian economy – such as purchasing and pretending to genuinely enjo...

Patriotic Canadians resigned to consuming Pizza Pizza

www.thebeaverton.com/2025/08/patr...

things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room and you only went in there sometimes

Ozzy Osbourne, Rock God Despite Himself (1948–2025) The Prince of Darkness, who gave us heavy metal as we know it, has been laid to rest.

I wrote about John “Ozzy” Osbourne—a working class lad made good, who rose from a slaughterhouse killing floor to the highest echelons of rock stardom in spite of himself, who gave us heavy metal and left a more complex legacy than many realize—for @thenation.com www.thenation.com/article/cult...

We see no money from this but it really has been such a blessing of a community. I’ve met some incredible friends + collaborators, and it’s led me to every other amazing opportunity in hockey and writing.

I mean, also, where else would you get an article assigning musicals to hockey teams?

Come see what Offside News Co is all about!

We’re especially looking for PWHL writers, transfemme writers, writers of colour, and any visual artists as we head into next season. Please reach out if you’re if you’re interested! Let’s have some fun with this stupid sport.

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