dylan reinhardt

More details will be released soon, but rampant illegal activity is occurring here.

you can’t even demand figgy pudding from your neighbors anymore because of woke

Growing up, I attended Sunday school every week. My teachers were Bill Watterson, Gary Trudeau, Berkeley Breathed, Charles M. Schulz, and Gary Larson. The best part was being able to show up in my pajamas and eat pancakes during class.

i don’t want to accept the things i cannot change i want to start fires with my mind

Medieval geeks getting to the end of the Bayeux tapestry and immediately logging on to their looms to weave their own reaction tapestries.

An illustration of the “trolley problem” thought experiment, with cartoon characters Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner. In the first frame, Road Runner is on the tracks, Wile E. Coyote is operating the switch. In the second frame, the trolly slides sideways off the tracks, presumably crushing Wile E. Coyote.

When your Acme™ trolly switch finally arrives

It all started to fall apart when they made fridges that wouldn’t accept magnets

spotify has a new playlist called 'screams'. after 5 minutes you recognize the screams as your own. after 30 you realize you never pressed play

An owl sits in a branch, eyes closed, head tilted, claw outstretched in a “hold up a second” gesture.

my kid correcting me about a dinosaur fact

Hunter maintaining his sobriety the past 4 yrs despite the guilt he must feel over his addiction being weaponized against the one person who has loved him unconditionally, even in his darkest days, has me emotional. I hope one day Hunter can find the love for himself that his father has for him…

I have long been convinced that the solution to 90% of traffic fatalities and at least 50% of the climate crisis is for men to go to therapy

waiter: don’t touch the plate it’s very hot *sets plate down in the weirdest place*

Your IKEA product name is your name spelled backwards with an umlaut

I am Nälyd, a line of pots and pans that not come with lids

I am THANKFUL to have Bluesky during this holiday season.

If a bear attacks you, stay calm. Try to see the situation from their point of view

Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony. However, eating too much pie is okay because the sin of pi is always zero.
🖖

I can't dwell on past egrets, I need to focus on the heron now.

Fascinating.

Some things are better left whatevered.

Nothing says, "English degree I'm not using," more than a semicolon.

"New day, new me!" I announce hopefully, right before I hit my shin on the bed in the same spot I always do

When you smell burnt toast it’s a sign you’re having a stroke and when it smells like teen spirit you’re having a Nirvanous breakdown.

Just thinking about the instructor at my kids' music lessons who was like, 'where does anyone even get a clown for a party?' and me raising my hand like, 'I know a guy.'

low key the most egregious condescension is this idea that conservatives do not have agency and are not making choices but are purely reactive and have no mind of their own

read the room, no one outside of ur tiny bubble likes AI

apex predators shouldn’t have to send emails

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to provide more value for shareholders

My kids are like mom do you have to nag?

And I’m like I haven’t even started to nag yet, pull up a seat.