Salvar Fawkes

…on a boat?

Wet Pretzel is the name of my Limp Bizket cover band.

National Beef Council Debuts New ‘You’re Supposed To Feel Like That’ Campaign

National Beef Council Debuts New ‘You’re Supposed To Feel Like That’ Campaign https://theonion.com/national-beef-council-debuts-new-youre-supposed-to-feel-like-that-campaign/

Just let him express yourself.

I once got so into Warheads that my tongue started peeling.

Giant Hole Swallowing Up Your House Added To List Of Things To Worry About

Giant Hole Swallowing Up Your House Added To List Of Things To Worry About https://theonion.com/giant-hole-swallowing-up-your-house-added-to-list-of-th-1819574628/

The VOID

Newly Unsealed Batch Of Epstein Estate Photos Contains Rare Holographic Dershowitz

Newly Unsealed Batch Of Epstein Estate Photos Contains Rare Holographic Dershowitz

Ooh…

Aren't you FURIOUS about it? Aren't you SEETHING at this incredibly stupid thing said by this complete rando you'd never heard of until I took the initiative to show it to you?

“Lady Antoinette, the poor do not even have a pot to piss in.”

Brain-body mass ratio is often used as a proxy measure for comparing intelligence across species. Their brains, remaining proportionate to their larger size, would thus be disproportionately large for the species they evolved to be.

🎉

The Legislation Upon winning a general election, a Reform government under Prime Minister Nigel Farage will: 1) Leave the ECHR 2.) Repeal the Human Rights Act and replace it with a British Bill of Rights. 3.) Pass The Illegal Migration (Mass Deportation) Bill: This Bill will: Create a legal duty to remove illegal migrants for the Home Secretary The Bill opens with a blunt obligation for the Home Secretary: "The Secretary of State shall ensure the removal from the United Kingdom of each person who does not have extant leave to remain and is not an Irish citizen or otherwise protected by regulations made under this Act." The following parts of the legislation are introduced on an emergency basis, with an in-built sunset clause after 5 years: Disapply the 1951 Refugee Convention, the UN Convention Against Torture, the Council of Europe Anti-Trafficking Convention (ECAT) Derogation is justified under the Vienna Convention doctrine of state of necessity: Britain faces a national emergency in which uncontrolled illegal migration undermines public order. These treaties will otherwise be used by activist judges to frustrate deportations, even after the repeals of the HRA and ECHR. Create Detention Power Without Hardial Singh Constraints This means illegal migrants can be detained until they are deported. Activist lawyers routinely use Hardial Singh to secure their client's bail, after which the client absconds. If you came to the UK illegally, you are ineligible for asylum. End of story All asylum claims will become inadmissible if made by a person within the Act's scope. If you came to the country illegally, you are ineligible for asylum in the UK. This strips the Home Office, the immigration tribunals and the higher courts of jurisdiction to even consider claims. A claim that cannot be considered cannot suspend removal and therefore, cannot delay a flight. Re-entering after deportation and destroying ID becomes a serious criminal offence Re-entry after deportation will be…

The Operational Plan We will create an enforcement unit called UK Deportation Command, including an Illegal Migrant Identification Centre - harnessing cutting edge data fusion A Reform government will create a cutting edge enforcement data centre to relentlessly identify and detain all illegal migrants in the UK. Using powers granted by the new legislation, it will automatically share data between the Home Office, NHS, HMRC, DVLA, banks and the police. It will power bulk warrants, including mandatory biometric capture during any police encounter. Each power addresses a failure mode observed over the past decade - for example, banks and GP surgeries unaware of a customer's status, or overstayers slipping through because a warrant covered only a single property. Secure Immigration Removal Centres (SIRC) will be built rapidly to detain up to 24,000 Detention capacity for up to 24,000 will be created within 18 months. The Home Office will build Secure Immigration Removal Centres. This will be modular accommodation built in remote parts of the country. Conditions are basic but not punitive: prefabricated two-person rooms, canteen catering, on-site medical suites. Robust perimeters and internal movement controls prevent escapes. This enables detention-on-arrest: no more bail. This capacity would allow for up to 24,000 illegal migrants to be deported per month. Initial Voluntary Return Window A six-month Assisted Voluntary Return window precedes large-scale raids. Illegal migrants will be offered a financial incentive to self-deport. An app will be launched to facilitate this. The Deportation Flights The Home Office will scale up charters to 5 flights per day. To guard against last-minute aircraft unserviceability, the RAF will keep one Voyager aircraft on six-hour 'hot-spare' readiness. If a commercial charter breaks down, detainees can still be flown out that night, preserving operational integrity. The legal reset will mean activist lawyers will no longer be able preven…

The UK version of “Project 2025” by the Reform party includes a British ICE, a concentration camp for 24,000 people, mass surveillance and withdrawing from refugee, anti-torture and anti-trafficking conventions.

It’s on their website. That’s how comfortable fascists are in the UK today.

Some rough beast, its hour come round at last.

Can this please be the death knell of this fucking fad?

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step.

1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish.

2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

Feel free to boycott for that reason! But Flock is straight-up mass surveillance, and what Ring is doing is substantively Not That.

YouTube video by Grant Harting Pharmacist Takes Rhino Pill and Stacker Yellow Hornet together...this is the result #pharmacy #asmr

They’re simply a convenient way to take Viagra without a prescription… or proper dosing… or labeling… or legality.
youtube.com/shorts/gjCfb...

Nation Vies For   Approval Of Cool Dog

Nation Vies For   Approval Of Cool Dog https://theonion.com/nation-vies-for-approval-of-cool-dog/

You’re playing a dangerous game.

It’s not forcible. The owner of the camera would have to deliberately approve specific timestamped requests.

Shell yeah.

Ugh. Good to know… I think I had better give this one a miss.

Hyena broads are supposed to be the broadest broads.

Just when I thought I was out… he sucked me back in.

It boggles my mind that the hot button issue is putting the seat *down*.

Wow, John Hodgman and David Rees got old.

Joe Rogan doesn’t actually have consciousness, he’s just autocompleting sentences.