Calda Cagna

My toxic trait is I’ll keep sending you TikToks when you leave twitter because it’s my only way of communicating with you

😂😂

How rural am I? I went to school with 5 kids who got kicked in the head by a mule and one of them thrice. 2nd kick made him a different kid and the 3rd kick brought him right back

If you see a man looking stressed ask him if if’s because he’s a disappointment

Betty White Match Game “Booze”

When Donald Trump was re-elected President, you went out and stocked up on _________.

[getting roughly bounced from a Dunks]
THE ‘ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT’ WAS A STUNT NO WAY THEY’D LET HIM DO THAT STUPID BABY FIST PUMP WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS can I go back in and get my coffee

The worst part of going to your kid’s recital must be not having a bar to go to when openers are shit.

Philomena Cunk looking at a painting of tsar Nicholas ii and saying he was allowed to rule the country like a dictator, which I've been advised to say isn't how Russia works today.

I slept like a baby last night, knowing Elon Musk fully grasps how despised he is.

“Alexa, how much longer?”

Question: if Trump signed an executive order for all women to wear dresses when outside the home, would you comply?

Putting someone in jail for being Transgender is the equivalent to putting someone in jail for wearing the color yellow.

a pink shirt that says "Biggest Slut at the Public Library"

I'm going to wear this everywhere

Free agency begins today.

I say we cut Trump and sign a
free agent president who’s not
a traitor.

I like you guys *gestures at my weird small niche corner of the internet*

You can dip your pizza roll into my ranch dressing if you wanna

every day that i don't choose violence just know it's because i'm very busy

The older I get the more I understand why birds fly into oncoming traffic.

I don't think these companies want me to actually rate my experience

I wish movies had the “press here to move at 2x speed” option

Oh what I said wasn’t a dig. But it wasn’t NOT a dig.