competent poster

[jigsaw voice] i want to eat a meal

idea for a band set closer: calling in a bomb threat

I have soiled myself

I have declared queng war

i will never stop fighting for the right to threaten nudie magazine vendors with violence

let’s not be reckless with such a glorious hog

if alan Dershowitz meets me in the Outback Steakhouse parking lot in 20 minutes i’ll feed him all the pierogis he wants

Jesus is crashing in my garage and he told me to tell you that he talked to his dad and he said to tell him to tell you that it’s all chill

I’ve had it with this pretentious hack crab

a man needs a place to keep at hand both mementos from past gallant deeds as well as tinned goods for the gallantry to come

i’m sick of that fatuous bear

w’all are but simp’ring wyrms

left it on the bus

i often receive compliments from women for my 'threatening aura'

when will the powers that be relieve us from these doomed wanderings in search of “beautiful scoundrels”?

[sung by seth rogen to the tune of the boy with a thorn in his side]

the dude with a bong in his ass

barack obama is finally going to prison for the crime of denying he got gay brain in that limo

try me

reminds me of my undergrad days at yale

consider

the ultimate nephew

there’s no time for this white foolishness when a fascist is in the white house

i have perused the literary offerings and i find your train station waiting room library ‘risible’

civilians could never understand the struggle against calls to go woke

don’t listen to them everyone let’s all go to the thorn maze together

w’all have admired an exceptional low poly bosom

ain’t no way them toys had a story