Tom Rawstorne

What’s next for Peter Mandelson? Got to be a podcast. With an ‘amusing counterpart’, I’m thinking Ann Widdecombe or Nicky Hallam.

Mandelson only really left with one option now - to switch to Reform

Let he who hasn't been photographed in a pair of Y Fronts in the home of an internationally infamous paedophile cast the first stone, say I...

They should throw the kitchen sink at Mandelson - criminal investigations for misconduct in public office, insider dealing and HMRC probe into his tax affairs.

I’m watching final episode of #TheNightManager solely because I’ve invested so much time in what I can only describe as a sub-par Slow Horses featuring a sub-par Bond who’s only sexual activity thus far has been a bit of over-the-jeans frottage.

Two otters waiting for food in Buckfastleigh, Devon

My favourite part of a visit to an otter sanctuary is the bit where the otters stand respectfully in silence for their national anthems.

Decent team though

I’m watching final episode of #TheNightManager solely because I’ve invested so much time in what I can only describe as a sub-par Slow Horses featuring a sub-par Bond who’s only sexual activity thus far has been a bit of over-the-jeans frottage.

Fascinating how the water companies brief journalists about future water shortages when the reality is there is no shortage of water just a shortage of infrastructure to meet demand. The last six months - not just this winter - wetter than average.

So does The Guardian, The Times and The Mail. I guess more eye-catching. And the fact that less people today recall Mandelson’s then-partner.

Great to see Banton playing for England again. Great credit to him to getting back into the team #SIvEng

Trump criticising nations for trading with China is like a publican hiking his prices and then complaining that his customers are drinking in the next door pub.

The cook, the sausage, his wife and her lover

I always find this bombastic rhetoric so silly, mate you're stepping out of a Vauxhall Astra to have lunch with a journalist not a Higgins boat onto Normandy

‘’Suella Braverman! Nadine Dorries! Nadhim Zahawi! Danny Kruger! Robert Jenrick! Lee Anderson! Maggie Thatcher - can you hear me, Maggie Thatcher! Your boys took one hell of a beating! Your boys took a hell of a beating!"

In the time it’s taken for England to win an overseas ODI, Donald Trump has stopped at least eight wars and cured autism #SLvEng

I know it's not within the hundred most awful things here, but... the nearest penguins to Greenland are in the Galapagos, five thousand fucking miles away

Crawley, Duckett, Bethell, Root, Brook....hmmm...hoping their preparation in Australia helps them hit their straps in Sri Lanka..#SLvEng

A statement from Ryanair saying that their CEO has called a press conference about Musk criticising them and saying he's thinking about purchasing their airline.

The Musk/Ryanair battle seems unfair. In one corner you've got generational talent shitposters, while in the other corner you've got the guy who thought that literally turning up with a sink to Twitter HQ when he bought it (*let that sink in! Geddit?*) was cutting edge satire.

"Look, I get it, he's mental but what the fuck do you want me to do?"

- Labour +45%

He who hasn't fallen out with their family in a row over charitable donations for displaced dogs cast the first stone, say I...

Don’t know much about the High North but sounds the sort of place that should be ruled by someone like Begbie.

Incredible wins.While England’s individual super stars fail trying to ‘just go harder’, Kiwis just put in team performance after team performance

Watching New Zealand beat India in India (again) can’t help feeling England got the wrong Kiwi.

Incredibly, no-one on Nigel Farage’s team has got round to deleting this post. It’s still live as Robert Jenrick gives his big defection speech.

Correct

If you think South East Water have got a grip on chaos think again. More schools shut in Tonbridge today. They’re in meltdown.

Donald Trump, Cristiano Ronaldo, Elon Musk, Ricky Gervais, Ed Sheerhan

this, from West Ham's Freddie Potts, is the single worst "five famous people you'd invite to dinner" I've ever seen

Classic England Test series in which Captain Fantastic injures himself in a vain cause because the team he picks isn’t able to deliver more than one decent performance in a row #ashes

Watching the cricket highlights and this would appear to be the least skill-ful display of bowling by an England team that I can remember in my life #ashes