Smut Cave

and it’s a beautiful day.

white house has joined bluesky
click here to block all official us government accounts instantly

bsky.app/profile/did:...

JUST GONNA STAND THERE AND WATCH ME SQUIRT

how did yall celebrate

More shall be made. I’ve taken care of every detail

INFLUENCER YOU’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE OR EVER AGAIN: Wow guys, the Smashing Man just Smashed all my expectations. Have you ever seen a movie? A24 is really cooking up something that everyone can smell this time around guys *unclear if video froze or he stopped talking*

I, of sound mind and having recently busted, do hereby confirm…

i’m so thankful for this button that shows up and blocks the text in a picture and its never clear if it’s going to copy or highlight or take me away to another site

Tom Hanks as a futuristic village elder in Cloud Atlas

(villagers gather around tribal techno-shaman in the ruins of a once great city)
SHAMAN: Nutted, but!
(villagers listen intently)
SHAMAN: …she is still sucking.
(murmurs of awe and approval)

This generation needs to spend less time “pinning skeets” and more time “skinning beets” *global economy ticks down several points*

GOVT OFFICIAL: Perhaps it is time to further sow the seeds of Hate

GUY GETTING AN HJ IN DULUTH, GEORGIA: I’m fixin to bust!

Skymaster!

Supa thick chunks of broken liiight in the Milky Way

Thanks to the new video length limits, I can now share what I’ve been developing in secret: a sentient bio-organism code-named JUNIPER, my daughter.

Trump at rally: MJ Lenderman! He did a Tiny Desk concert. (mixed reactions from crowd, Trump is suddenly tired, labored breathing) MJ, Lenderman.

A GI Joe has a good conversation with some kids before designating a ringleader who must then get in a fridge

you’ve made me reconsider my stance on this issue

i can’t listen to the beginning of Danse Macabre because it’s patently clear a skeleton will materialize out of the shadows and dance a jig

FROOOOOOOOM

A kernel of truth is sometimes nestled within a dollop of shit

Lord Ballsly of Cockshame

the slow cosmic suck that pulls at all nuts

we’re feeding a number of americans into a meat grinder to make incredible burgers for other americans

we’re in the era of foul odors belying something being seriously wrong internally

𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘰

you’ve some skill with a blade

meanwhile on #instagram

elegance of the well-beefed cheese