Frog Fractions

Can’t wait to see the patina

i wish i had better typos that added to the joke instead of making it incoelelfsible

This Fourth of July don’t forget your draft dodging president thinks POWs and wounded soldiers are “losers”. Imagine licking the boot of a man who wouldn’t even take a step in yours.

Nothing brings out the worst in old people like the rough and tumble world of the Costco parking lot

You disrespect me today, the day of my daughter’s wedding, in front of all of my neopets?

They should add a fishing minigame to real life

Excuse me sir, this so called “butter knife” tastes fucking terrible

was enjoying a wake and bake on the porch when a spider caught a bug near me in its web. Watching this spider work has been blowing my fucking mind

I will personally give head to whoever at chobani came up with the s’mores flips

If they don’t bring back the quesorito right now I’m going ballistic

im caught up on the pit and I miss it

I’m not addicted to drugs, but my brain worm definitely is and you do NOT want to piss off that guy

Tonight all of the Grammys gather in one place to discuss recipes and their favorite grandchildren

Does Costco do weddings? I want to get married near the frozen meatballs

Congratulations on your 10th wedding anniversary, you're now in a Kirkland brand marriage.

Sure let’s accuse the drag queens who just want to dress up and read books to children of doing what priests are known for LITERALLY systematically doing

I imagined this as the lead in to a musical number where a serial killer stalks a young woman down the street

Kevin in a 1959 cadillac series 62 convertible: with a broken computer (IBM PC Tower Pentium 3 Year 2000 model) a six pack of soda (Tab) and a stack of pizzas (delicious). stationary. (i cannot drive. nor do i have a license.)

hey everybody, my computer
broke, so, i’ma just circle around
the neighborhood until i find you!
okay? could you just.. i dunno..
wave you hands? or something??

“Your password cannot be that stupid one you always try to use.”

wouldn’t you like to know weatherboy

executive producer of queer eye or navy seal sniper, it’s 50/50

If you don’t support trans/lgbt+ rights go fuck yourself and block me. Here in the FROG FRACTIONS swamp we love each other and take care of our community.

And if you think human rights is “too political” for a shit posting frog account, you can also go fuck yourself.

There was a kid in my third grade class named Craig and he had grey hair and corrected my pronunciation of “cerulean”

Where is he now

incredible post thanks for sharing

We no longer offer in-person tubbies now. We are a teletubbies only office.

“It’s been 11 days and there are 67 bodies in the Potomac” goes incredibly hard and is such a great use of language

how many januaries do you guys think february will be

What part of the water cycle would you want to be part of the most? For me, it’s definitely evaporation.

Quoting for documentation purposes

I'm taking up recreational screaming