A fabricated statement from Nintendo of America's Twitter account addressing a fictitious scenario in which the Earth's oxygen supply is presumed to be depleting at a rapid pace, leaving humanity with mere days to live. "This is Miyamoto. On behalf of everyone who is employed at Nintendo Co. LTD and its subsidiaries, we deeply mourn the countless human lives which will be lost due to the depletion of the global oxygen supply. To anyone who has ever played one of our games, we are eternally grateful to have created long-lasting fun and memories for you. To ease the suffering of families and children across the world, the Mario Kart World game for the Nintendo Switch 2 system will be available as a free download on Nintendo eShop for the foreseeable future. We hope this small gesture of kindness will ease the pain as humanity prepares for a worst-case scenario." The statement is distastefully plastered with logos for Nintendo and Nintendo Switch 2, as well as with a render of Mario from Mario Kart World.

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. John Default Profile Picture: "No one read this statement and thought it was distasteful? Why did Miyamoto think this would help anyone?" NintenDeen: "Simple: Nintendo is so depraved that they'd exploit a global crisis to boost the player count of the failed Mario Kart World and force consumers back into the Switch 2 ecosystem to boost sales and player numbers."

A fabricated Twitter thread responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. PlayStation Nation: "What the fuck are you doing falsely advertising sales during these trying times? I went to the website and Mario Kart World is still selling for $80 USD." Kremling Kevin: "If you actually read the statement, it clearly says the discount is available on Nintendo eShop. Meaning the application on the Switch 2 itself, not the web browser version." PlayStation Nation: "Point still stands."

A fabricated Tweet responding to the fabricated Nintendo statement. Isaboner: "Nothing for Switch 1 owners?"

Had a dream that there was global panic about the world running out of oxygen, Nintendo was the only video game company to make a statement about it, and the internet collectively spent its final hours on Earth debating whether Nintendo was being genuine or not

DHS: Our officer was ambushed and beaten with snow shovels and broom handles. This was an attempted murder of federal law enforcement.

ICE says federal agents appear to have lied about confrontation that led to shooting

Agents had initially said that two men — Alfredo Aljorna and Julio Sosa Celis – assaulted them with a broom and a shovel before one of them shot Sosa Celis. But that account was quickly called into question, and prosecutors now say “newly discovered evidence” contradicts the officers’ story.

The default assumption should be that they’re lying

NEGUSE: AG Bondi, that man works for you now, right? The man in that video from J6 yelling 'kill them!' at cops. His name is Jared Wise.

BONDI: He does work for us, yes. I believe he was pardoned

NEGUSE: And you expect hard-working police officers to believe you take law enforcement seriously?

In a sign of how poorly this hearing is going for Pam Bondi, Fox News has cut away from live coverage which is highly unusual for a high-profile hearing of this sort

If you were to run down a list of all the things distinctive about the United States in contrast to Old World Europe, most of it is stuff we instead have in common with Latin America. That's not some woke novelty, it's a deeply embedded centuries-old aspect of our culture and national identity.

a lego diarama version of the hot dog suit scene from I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE, complete with tiny hot dog suited tim robinson and hot dog car, all the business people have scowling faces

photo from a friend at a lego convention right now, amazing 🌭

Kristi Noem: "Everything I've done, I've done at the direction of the president and Stephen"

Sen. Ruben Gallego, D-Ariz., rolls out his demand for supporting a DHS appropriations bill: fire Stephen Miller

Bilbo looking at his phone top on bottom is ChatGPT After all, why not? Why shouldn't I keep it? You're absolutely right — you found it, it's been with you a long while, and it's only natural to feel fond of something that's served you so well, especially when someone like Gandalf suddenly seems to want it for himself.

BREAKING: Judge Tostrud -- a Trump appointee — has quickly granted a restraining order, barring the administration from "destroying or altering evidence" taken from today's shooting. storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...

JUST IN: In a new lawsuit, Minnesota officials say DHS mishandled evidence from today's crime scene and made "astonishing" law enforcement decisions. storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...

CNN put together a clip of JD Vance claiming ICE agents have "absolute immunity" followed by him two weeks later claiming "I didn't say that officers who engage in wrongdoing would enjoy immunity"

Jack Smith: "My fear is that we have seen the rule of law function in our country for so long that many of us have come to take it for granted. The rule of law is not self-executing. It depends on our collective commitment to apply it."

Brooklyn Park police chief Mark Bruley: "We're hearing people being stopped with no cause & being demanded to show paperwork to determine if they're here legally. We started hearing from our police officers the same complaints. Every one of these individuals is a person of color... it has to stop"

The three dragons meme, with the last three national champions and their records. The scary dragons are Michigan at 15-0 and Indiana at 16-0. the goofy dragon is Ohio State at 14-2.

Three straight national championships for the Big Ten

it's more or less impossible to find issues that poll this badly and he's decided to make it a major, public priority www.cbsnews.com/news/ice-tru...

I know people on Bsky know this but I hope it filters out: The feds are OCCUPYING the Twin Cities. This is a blockade, a siege. They are shutting down economic and civic activity. They are conducting "papers please" stops. They are criminalizing being a bystander/witness.

You could be next.

Enten: "Trump has just fallen off a cliff when it comes to Gen Z. Trump's net approval in February of 2025 was +10. It's a drop of 42 points to -32. My goodness gracious."

Frost: For so long, the right wing has held up patriotism as a vibe, as an aesthetic. But patriotism is more than bald eagles and flags and beer. Patriotism is about loving the people who live in the damn country — every single one of them.

U.S. Attacked Boat With Aircraft That Looked Like a Civilian Plane

Breaking NYT:

The Pentagon used a secret aircraft painted to look like a civilian plane in its first boat attack, according to officials briefed on the matter.

The laws of armed conflict forbid combatants from feigning civilian status.

That is a war crime called "perfidy."

It’s genuinely wild that the United States spent decades building an elaborate rules-based international order which de facto cemented its permanent status as the dominant global hegemon, sustained by ideology rather than might, and now is just blowing it all up for literally no reason

hell yes

West Point is committing "a crime of serious proportion" then.

When Trump was asked about the release of the Epstein files, he called one reporter "piggy" and said another was "being insubordinate."

When Trump saw a video calling on the military to follow the constitution, he called for the death of the Democrats who made the video.

He's a tyrant.

Obama: "They never miss a chance to scapegoat minorities and blame DEI for every problem under the sun. You got a flat tire? Must be DEI. Your wife kicked you out? DEI. Who knew?"

The people on the right getting mad at Tucker Carlson for hosting Holocaust denier Nick Fuentes on his podcast don’t seem to have gotten mad at all at Donald Trump for hosting Holocaust denier Nick Fuentes at his home for dinner. Funny that.