Enantiodromia Not-Enjoyer

Neurotypicals are fighter class
Neurodivergents are magic users
There I said it

Dear diary:
🫩

I'm tired of consequences
Where are all the prosequences?

My one annoying trait is that I'm really fucking annoying

I don't just argue with inanimate objects, I will flat out confront them. If a frying pan isn't nesting well in the pantry I'll straight up ask it. "Really? Is darkness truly the path you've chosen?"

UPDATE: 🔥It's not fine🔥

If our president had stats they would be:
INT -4
CHA -2 (+10 if target suffers smoothbrain)
DEX 10 (DEX stands for 'Dudes Extremely Xenophobic')
STR -1
WIS -6 (additional -5 when tweeting about anything relating to foreign affairs)
CON 10 (CON literally means 'con-man')

"Precompiling shader pipelines"
Mfer just say "making bad looks look good look"
#thefinals

ALEXANDER HAMILTON
C'MON AND SLAMILTON
IF YOU WANNA JAMILTON

Yeah I'm into the maxxing life. I'm Mad Maxxing right now
(strapped to the front of a car in a post- apocalyptic desert)

People out here being productive on their day off and I'm at home googling the plural of "barf" to see if it's the same plural as "scarf".

Sociopolitical labels are pretty fucking stupid and polarizing, but I really gotta hand it to the "anti-woke" crowd. Really takes the cake that there are folks out there who are proud to be "pro-asleep".

Gottem

Does my toaster have dreams

If we hate him more will he...
😗👉👈
☠️?

Gonna be real with you, this feels like an advertisement for spiritual death

Help I'm such a delusional loser that I need to promote fascism in the world of make-believe

2 months from now:
"LIVE FROM EL SALVADOR, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT!!!"

Used car salesman: *slaps roof of my body* You can fit so much imposter syndrome in this baby.

IJWTD

Ima frow up

Wow it really just fucking squeeezed the life right out of her face.

No I super do not think they like women. They like bland, cookie-cutter representations of women because that is way safer to their egos than an actual relationship.

Me, buying toilet paper, telepathically to the cashier: "please do not imagine me pooping."

A important comic

What the frigglytuff

◇TSUNDERE ON BOARD◇

Sorry to hear, champ. Keep fighting!

Do it anyway

I like to believe I'm a relatively complex person, but there's one thing that really flattens out my character. When I go bass fishing, anywhere anytime, and I catch a fish that looks exactly like all of the other fish I'm like omg fuuuuuck yeeeaaaahhhhh