@titsmcdick.bsky.social
only the slightest whiff of mental illness. she/her π³οΈβπ
Do you think Mary-Kate Olsen brags about having two first names when her loser sister only has one?
15.02.2026 02:09 β π 6 π 2 π¬ 0 π 0Thereβs layers there.
15.02.2026 02:08 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0a lot of people care about dumb stuff that doesnβt matter and it ruins them. they could instead look at flowers or watch birds or do cocaine
15.02.2026 02:06 β π 37 π 4 π¬ 1 π 0A large portion of the male figure skaters this year look like long-lost Hanson brothers.
14.02.2026 03:11 β π 871 π 27 π¬ 77 π 7I wish I spoke Canadian.
15.02.2026 01:27 β π 7 π 0 π¬ 2 π 0valentine's day isn't just for couples, it's also a day to celebrate love. for instance, i would love it if housing prices came down.
14.02.2026 20:11 β π 11815 π 1768 π¬ 132 π 49Of course! πͺ
15.02.2026 00:10 β π 0 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I suck at poetry,
Coffee.
I think I hate squirrels.
14.02.2026 15:53 β π 19 π 2 π¬ 5 π 1I can outrun the Girl Scouts.
- me, holding 15 boxes of free cookies.
if the burrito i door dashed doesnt fix me the vodka will? right?
14.02.2026 05:49 β π 10 π 2 π¬ 1 π 0usb is short for unlimited sandwich bar
14.02.2026 06:22 β π 230 π 51 π¬ 15 π 3
Me too, bitch.
14.02.2026 12:55 β π 46 π 10 π¬ 0 π 0canβt go out tonight, i need to stay in and catch up on my kegels
14.02.2026 00:09 β π 61 π 18 π¬ 2 π 0Roses are red. Violets are blue. Be my Valentine. Oh no, not you.
13.02.2026 21:27 β π 177 π 56 π¬ 5 π 3Hoping I havenβt done the stupidest thing I ever did yet because I want something to look forward to.
13.02.2026 23:02 β π 99 π 45 π¬ 2 π 0Tits AND butts!
14.02.2026 00:46 β π 1 π 0 π¬ 0 π 0Butts.
That is all.
Wow, the helpline people at the suppository company are really rude.
13.02.2026 12:35 β π 234 π 20 π¬ 38 π 2Happy Friday the 13th to those who celebrate.
13.02.2026 07:03 β π 148 π 53 π¬ 13 π 2I wonder... with Pam Bondi here, who's running Hell?
13.02.2026 02:50 β π 45 π 12 π¬ 6 π 0There needs to be an Olympic event of dumping out the fat from 80% ground beef into an empty can of cranberry sauce
13.02.2026 00:39 β π 142 π 33 π¬ 14 π 0Do you mean to tell me this is all because a black guy triggered a white guy in 2011? Fuck! - thanks Obama.
12.02.2026 23:26 β π 492 π 44 π¬ 39 π 6It's not a real relationship until you occasionally hate the other person's stupid face.
12.02.2026 21:27 β π 133 π 27 π¬ 10 π 1Iβm going to win the war on protein. I eat nothing but beef tallow dipped in pork fat rolled inside a chicken stuffed in a duck. My family doesnβt talk to me anymore. I smell like a used wig from the 1700s.
12.02.2026 18:23 β π 1603 π 167 π¬ 22 π 10My goal is to gain a lot of weight so people will avoid me.
12.02.2026 20:01 β π 8 π 2 π¬ 0 π 0My home and car have conspired to take all of my tax refund
11.02.2026 23:25 β π 14 π 1 π¬ 2 π 0Weβve all had days where weβve woken up, forgotten to brush our teeth, and closed all El Paso airspace for an hour instead.
11.02.2026 14:21 β π 2119 π 305 π¬ 33 π 6
photo of Pam Bondi testifying in the foreground as a group of 7 women and 1 men raise their hands
Likely-historic photo by NBC News of all the Epstein victims asked to raise their hands if they've not yet been asked to meet with the DOJ as Bondi testifies in foreground
11.02.2026 17:15 β π 40382 π 13795 π¬ 1374 π 896seasoned depression is delicious
11.02.2026 13:14 β π 52 π 17 π¬ 3 π 0
